July 15, 2016

Lost in the Shower.

I haven't blogged in a long time.  Maybe that's why I haven't 'been myself' lately.  I haven't been purging the madness in my head. So, here's back to being me.

Did you know I lost an INCH!  And not in my waist.  I used to be 5'8".....used to be.  What the hell? I cannot believe I am getting older to begin with.  But, to have all of this extra shit jumping on that band wagon is really bugging me.  I like being tall!  Granted...when I was in middle school and taller than all the boys, I didn't like it.  When I was in high school and had to stoop over for my prom picture, I didn't like it.  But, since college - I like it!!  Damn it. It seems that everything I like (d) is going to shit.  I liked my teeth - shit.  I liked my stomach - shit.  I liked my body - shit.  I liked my height - shit.  I'm going to start disliking stuff.  See what happens.

On a positive note, I lost 12 pounds.  I don't mind losing that.  La la.

Am I the only one who does weird stuff in the shower?

Don't be pervy.

I mean...I do yoga in the shower.  I also make waterfalls with my elbows...or boobs.  I smush my toes in the bubbles.  I squeeze my scrunchy poof thing so the water rinses off the cat hair from the side of the tub. I clean with my feet. I talk to the pets. I step out of the water, bubble up my entire body, act like a yeti and then step back under the shower when I get cold.

Yep.  I don't just shower.  I exist in the shower.  It's the only place I truly relax.

Everyone sings in the shower.  So, don't tell me that one like it's special and unique.  I've recorded 4 singles this week alone.

I also have shower thoughts. In fact, I have some of my best thoughts in the shower.  Not surprising since it's the only time I'm alone, relaxed and quiet. (sometimes) Here are some of my thoughts.  You can read these and then decide if you would like to remain friends with a crazy person.

Wouldn't it be cool if people could dream together?  Like, if I was dreaming about Abe, I could invite him into my dream so he'd get it. Instead of me trying to explain the craziness to him in the morning. Ya know? Sort of like a multi-player game.

Or I wonder how many times I've unknowingly avoided my death. Or...what are snails actually doing or where are they going?  Today, my shower thought was...is anyone stupid enough to think they caught an STD from a former lover 10 years ago and just found out about having it NOW or are they smart enough to realize their current partner is cheating on them?   Yea.  I'm surrounded by an idiot cluster.  And whores, apparently.  Haha.

Well, apparently this whole blog is about showers.

I argue with everyone in the shower. I come up with amazing rebuttals and comebacks to past arguments, current arguments and arguments that haven't even occurred yet.   I obviously perform because I've recorded singles. (see above) I still do not sing well, though.  Sorry.  I've gotten shower schizophrenia. Meaning, I hear things when I'm home alone and in the shower.  I've actually gotten out, soaking wet, grabbed a towel and creeped around the house. This is funny because I have wood floors and wet feet.  Yea, good times.

I just thought of this....bath crayons.  I should totally buy myself some bath crayons so I could draw in the shower, too.

My secret is out. I love the shower.  I can get lost in the shower.


1 comment:

  1. Tee Hee,, Tee Hee,, Thanks for the laughs..