November 5, 2015

Menopause, Moving and Mother Effers.

Lately, I have been a lunatic who gets ridiculously hot every morning while getting ready for work.  I thought about it and was pretty sure that I was starting to be pre-menopausal. I mean...47...makes sense.  Since a Type 1 Diabetic automatically loses 15 years off their lifespan, it made sense that I would be ready to start menopause.



















One trip to the Doctor confirmed that it was true. Peri-Menopausal. My estrogen is threatening to go on strike.  This means, I'm still hot, it just comes in flashes now. Ba dum chhhh.   I was put on mood pills to keep the moods in check and we are holding off on hormones.  Apparently, hormones aren't suggested if you have a history of breast cancer in your family.  Since my mom just went through all of that cancer bullshit last year, I'm probably not a good candidate for hormone therapy.

So, what the eff?  Do I become a hairy, sweaty, sexless cow?  Is that my future?  Ugh.  Holy shit balls.  Men.....screw you.  Seriously.  Women have to deal with all of this crap because we are tough. I'm convinced.  Periods, child birth, menopause.  Yea.  If men had to deal, we'd have a bunch of whiny, crying babies walking around with balls.  I promise you.  Take a look at your man when he has a cold.  Psh. Wuss.

Speaking of my mom, she's moving to Florida tomorrow.  I wish that she wouldn't.  I like her here being surrounded by awesome friends and family.  But, she doesn't want to deal with winter.  I told her...EVERYONE hates winter but we deal because all else is so amazingly beautiful.  Even winter is beautiful and who doesn't want snow on Christmas morning?  I also told her that Florida was the waiting room for death.  haha!  Not nice, I know, but I'm not a Florida fan.  Be there, done that, wasn't impressed.

She bought a house, though, and is on her way.  I wish her the absolute best of luck and hope she finds her happy there.  At least, if I ever want to go to Disneyland, I'll have a free place to stay. Haha! Cheers to another adventure, Fran! Love you much. I'll send you pictures of snow and NY maple syrup. <3 p="">
















As many of my friends know, I LOVE October.  I love Fall, Halloween, sweaters, boots, leaves, the smell, mums, the decorations....I love everything about it.  I still love it even though October, recently, has sucked. Significantly.  Since moving from Vegas, October - while it now gives me everything I truly love about it here in NY - has been a month full of hardships.  I have lost jobs, broken up, moved, been threatened, attacked, lied to and had to deal with legal issues.  Things way beyond my maturity level.

So, my question is this....why are people such Mother Effers in October?  Is it because they are MFers every month and I don't notice?  Is it because winter is coming so they think it's ok to be a MFer?  Is it me?  Am I attracting MFers?  Whatever it is..... MFer's smell like drama and a headache and I want them to go away.

How about this....stay the eff away from me in October.  Let me have my pumpkin party.  Let me walk in the woods and collect leaves.  Let me break out my Uggs.  Let me smell the air.  Let me think about hibernating and shut the eff up.  I don't want to have to break up with October....but I will.  I will.  I will love September more.  Don't tempt me.

October and  MFer's have been warned.
















Lastly, it's Throwback Thursday.  #TBT.  Here's some throwbacks from the best decade EVER!!!! The 80's.

Some mood music:  Hey, Mergatroid! Let's gooooo!



























You're welcome.

*Peace.

1 comment:

  1. I love you , Kelly! Menopause it a righteous BITCH!!! This may not be comforting right now, BUT "The Other Side of Menopause is FUCKING GLORIOUS!" Keep the freezer open, and go scream in the woods!!!!

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