March 6, 2015

I Ain't Got Time For That!

Bathroom Air Dryers.
Screw it.  I'm just wiping my hands on my pants.

Minimum Delivery Order.
Just bring me my damn food.  You should be thanking me for buying the shit, not pushing rules on me!

Messed Up Coffee Orders.
I said milk and 1 Splenda.  It's not rocket science. Milk. 1 Splenda.  And, yes, I can tell you used sugar! 

Slow Walkers.
You are NOT the only person on the planet.  Make way, slugs!
*Can be combined with Middle of the Aisle Walkers.

Black Licorice.
Seriously.  Just be red.

Fast &Furious 7.
Fuck you, Vin Diesel.  How many damn times do we need to see this movie? And isn't that cutie Paul Walker dead?  Ugh. Way to pour salt in the wound.

I have no idea what they are because I keep having to change them!  Enough, already!  Give me one password, for everything needing passwords and go away. 

Celebrities Who Have No Talent.
Kardashians.  Brandi, Teresa and most of the Housewives.  The entire Jersey Shore cast. I'm sure there are tons more but really?  I have more talent and no fame or money.  Life is not fair.

Most Facebookers.
The prayer seekers. *Can be combined with LWJHD braggers.  The 'OMG, FB is going to charge us!'/Share our info/blah blah believers. The Selfie Addict. *See previous post.  The haters.  The internet politicians.

Getting Out of the Shower When It's Cold.
It's so warm and steamy and no.  Just no.

'Are You Still Listening'
Seriously, Pandora, if I weren't, I'd have shut you off. 

Flight Delays.
I PAID a ton for this flight.  You better damn well not delay me.  Give me my destination NOW!

Unapproved Vacation Time.
WTH said you had power over my vacay?  I go when I want!  Unless you're paying for my vacay, doing my work, accruing my time and salary, you can suck it.

Ain't Nobody Got Time for That!