December 18, 2014

Talking 'Bout a Resolution...

I don't make resolutions.  I never have.  I am not much of a goal setter anyway.  I'm more of a 'let shit just happen' kinda girl.  So, this year, I'm thinking about change.  I mean, resolutions are just promises that you make to yourself.  They should be easy, not be some crazy difficult life changing bs that you won't ever succeed at. 

Looking at my past few years, I must say, my life has reached the bottom of the rollercoaster in many ways.  It's probably a good time to make some positive changes and reach the top of the coaster again.  After all, that's where the good view is.

For 2015, I will promise myself to...

...control my reactions.  I'm a reactor.  Whether it's excitement, happiness, sadness, anger, I burst, explode, like a volcano.  It's unexpected, loud and there isn't much thought behind it. The excitement and happiness emotions, let those rip. The reactions I want to control are the anger and sadness. These are the emotions I'd like to regard before I let them out and, with the help of my happy pills, I'm already on my way. 

...exercise more.  I'm also on my way to this by doing yoga at Mohonk.  I even have my own mat and plan on buying some blocks, too. Those suckers make your back feel ah...may....zing. I haven't been doing yoga as much as I'd like but I want to be more involved in this new year. grateful.  It's easy to forget all the wonderful things in life because you become so focused on the crap things. We all do it.  It's easy and pretty much habitual.  Why is that, I wonder, because that just sucks.  Yes, I have a $400 electric bill...but...I have a job, I am warm, I am loved, I am not hungry and I have a well lit home with great cable and internet access!  Wooo!

That's it.  I'm only going to do 3 resolutions because I don't need any additional stress in my life.  I guess I'm kind of a cheater because I've already started working on these but who cares.  I don't like to fail. 

2014 has been quite the interesting year for me.  Abe and I worked things out and he moved back to NY to be with me.  He chose me, again, so I guess it's true love.  haha! I've had several jobs, been unemployed for several months and still do not know what I want to do with my life or where I am headed.  It's always a big surprise. I've moved 2 more times and KNOW that I don't want to move again any time soon.  My gypsy soul needs a rest.  I have an empty nest...for the most part.  Amanda is off dorming at college so that's been odd. I miss her.  My diabetes is OK but my immune system is hell bent on killing me.  My mom got breast cancer and, just like Diabetes, it doesn't run in our family. 

See what I did?  I just hopped on that complaining/negative band here. Let me get that resolution train rolling.  Abe & I worked things out and yay! I work at Mohonk and Moroney's.  Both cool places. I moved into an adorable house that I love it.  Amanda is doing excellent at college.  3.85 GPA!!  My Diabetes is doing awesome.  My mom is a breast cancer survivor!

Yea...that was much better, right? I'm gonna rock the crap out of 2015! haha!

Just wait and see....


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