Today at work a girl puked, it hailed and I forgot my lunch. If that’s not a sign that the world is ending, I don’t know what is.
Although I haven’t blogged in a while, it doesn’t mean that my life has become any less crazy, chaotic and full of madness because it hasn’t. My life is still crazy. The only difference is….I’m too poor to spoil myself so I don’t go crazy because my life is crazy.
I miss my Vegas way of life. Not Vegas, just the way I lived my life. Yearly travel, quarterly Disney, monthly massages, bi-weekly pedi’s, weekly sushi and movies, daily Starbuck’s. It sucks. Yea, I was spoiled but I spoiled myself and I deserved it. So there. Suck it. But, for the love of Zeus, this being poor shit sucks. Sucks big, fat, cellulitey, ass. Mine, in particular, because I’m definitely becoming a fatty. How is it that I put on winter weight in the summer? Stupid thyroid. That’s the only thing I can blame it on because I refuse to blame it on Double Stuff Oreos and Boston Crème donuts.
Ask me if I care though? My answer is a 98% no. There is that 2% moment when I have to suck it in to zip my pants but the rest of the times, there’s leggings. I wouldn’t say I’m fat either. Not really. I’m curvy now. I should appreciate these curves because I sure the hell didn’t have them when I was younger. The fact that I look like a retro pin up girl should be used to my advantage!! But, I’m too lazy…and…like I said…I don’t care.
I wonder if that comes with age or if I’ve never truly cared. Probably a bit of both. I received a couple of compliments this weekend which I need to share because they really made me feel good. The first was when I was told that a woman in her 40’s is the most beautiful. That’s when the beauty really shines through and is real. I imagined myself bursting with holes and beams of light shining out all over the universe spreading smiles. The other one was that she really liked me and admired how whatever comes out of my mouth is truth and not some bullshit.
Yes. I unapologetically speak my truthful, realistic, honest mind. Some people would say that is mean and hurtful. They could be right if my intent were to be mean and hurtful. I speak truths because I’m not here to sugarcoat shit for anyone. If you’re acting like an asshole, I’ll be the one who tells you. If what you are doing is wrong, again, I’m going to say it. It’s almost like voicing my opinion. While my opinion is always what I speak, the truth, the reality, the way it is joins along. Some people don’t like that and I, quite honestly, don’t care.
Again, I’m not a mean spirited person but if you do not want a candid conversation about whatever, then I am probably not the person to be around or speak to. In fact, I think more people should be like me. I want to hear the real, honest you. Not some fortified, sprinkled, fake portrayal of who you think I want you to be. I want you to be you. Good, bad, indifferent. I truly believe there is beauty in everyone. Believe that of yourself and be you. Of course there will be those assholes that don’t like you…but there will be those assholes that do! Haha! And those are the assholes everyone should want to decorate their lives with. Cheers to assholes!
I have too many pets. I never thought there would come a day that I’d say that but there you have it. Maybe it’s because my pets are crazy. We all know I hate Sunny. Jack is a lunatic. He is just a bushel of crazy, put his ass on you, fun. He’s fun. That’s his description. Fred is an asshole. Fred is a HUGE cat. Probably a little Maine Coon. He’s ginormous but barely meows. When he does meow, it sounds like a pathetic little old man. It’s ridiculous and totally doesn’t match. His thing is to scratch the walls and doors when he wants something. Douchebag always wants something at 1am. Timmy is so stinking cute but I swear he’s from another planet. He’s learning all of our ways and taking them back to the Mother Ship. I think he’s going to kidnap me and make me the Mother of the Mother Ship. He’s the coolest cat ever, though.
Why did I go on a pet rampage? Probably because I just picked cat hair off of my scarf. There is no other reason. Ahem.
Or maybe I wanted to share that I’m trying to lure all the neighborhood bears into my lawn to eat Sunny. I’m to the point of secretly rubbing suet on her collar and making her a delectable wiener treat for them. Oh…damn…guess it’s not so secret anymore. Ooops.
Here’s something I’ve been wondering …if my pancreas is dead, hence the Diabetes, and my thyroid is mostly dead, hence the Diabetes…does that mean I’m part zombie? I have dead organs! So, I’m pretty safe if there’s a zombie apocalypse. Right?
I've got a confession. I'm having McDonalds for dinner. I hate fast food. I do. I rarely eat it and when I do, I feel bad. Bad because it is bad for you. Bad because it makes my innards feel gross. Bad because it doesn't taste as good as it did in the 80's. It doesn't. McRib rocked in the 80's. That shit was worthy waiting for. The fries...amazing. Ok..the fries are still pretty amazing. That hasn't changed. But, the McDonalds apple pie. That is he most disappointing Wth did they do? Why did they choose to eff up a great thing!! That crust?! Oh. My. Gawd. In the 80's it was the shit. Now...it's pure shit. Come on, McDonalds. Get it together. On another note, did you know that McDonalds Managers make a ton of money? Ugh
Ok. I'm out. I have a chicken sandwich to choke down.
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