September 5, 2013

Sonic September

Abe & I went to Sonic the other night for milkshakes. Sonic has half price shakes on Thursday after 8pm. I'm a fatty and I'm broke so I gotta hunt down the deals!!


Well, we were 5 minutes early so we had to wait. Sonic is like the mall. If you sit there long enough, you find a plethora of people that you can make fun of. Guess what we did? Yep. Chose our victims. Who that night happened to be a table full of overly large people. Abe starts it by saying 'What do you think the combined weight of that table is?' I suck at anything containing numbers so I just shrug. He starts talking in his funny voice that I love 'Umm..I'd like 4 cheeseburgers, 5 fries, 4 coney dogs, some tots and a Diet Coke.' I laugh because the Diet Coke thing is just absurd. So is Abe's voice. He uses it for the cats, the kids, everyone. I'm going to Vine it one of these days. Anyway. The next thing we know, a chubby redneck pulls up next to us and starts to order.  Guess what he ordered? Yep. Multiple cheeseburgers, chili cheese tater tots, jalapeƱo poppers and a Route 44 Diet Dr. Pepper. I died.

Abe forgot we were in the South. Southerners drink Dr. pepper.

At 8p, I pushed the button and we, the hypocritical fatty's, ordered our shakes. Abe wanted a chocolate peanut butter shake, I wanted a twist. In NY you can order a half & half shake or a twist. Either way, they know its 1/2 chocolate and 1/2 vanilla. I didn't want to confuse the poor Sonic girl but it was inevitable.  Here is our conversation. Now..read her response with a THICK southern accent....

'Can I have a half chocolate and half vanilla shake, please?'
'Ummm...you want half chocolate and half vanilla?'
'Yes.'
'I don't know if I can get half of chocolate and half of vanilla in the cup.'
'Just mix em together. Pour half vanilla in and then half chocolate. It's easy.'
'Umm...I'm not sure I can't make it half.'
'It doesn't matter. I just want them both mixed together.'
'Ok. Umm...half chocolate and half vanilla?'
'Yes. Just try your best.'

I turn to Abe and say 'Really?' So, now neither one of us know what the hell I will get. We are giggling at the situation and this young girl comes walking up with our shakes. I was a little disappointed that she wasn't wearing skates but I didn't have a lot of faith in this girl anyway. Skates would probably send her over the edge...shakes apparently did. She comes up to my window and says 'I put a little chocolate on the bottom and vanilla on top. Is that right?' I said 'Yes, that's fine. Thanks.'

Bless her heart.

What the eff was so difficult about that? 


I can't believe its already September. Wth happened to August? I think I have slipped into some sort of depressing recluse phase. I haven't done my hair in about a month. I barely put make up on. I still shave my legs every day, though, so there's hope. I'm not complaining because Fall is coming. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Fall. It's my favorite season. I love the leaves, the cool, crisp air, the smell, the lack of asshole Mosquitos. I also love Halloween and Thanksgiving. I am complaining because I wil be turning 45. 45!!! FUCK! I am still unemployed, getting lazier and always broke.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered who the hell that was staring back at you? I do. Never in my life did I imagine my life would be like it is today. In fact, its so far off its laughable. I'm on a bowling team, FFS!! Yep. Bowling. 'Thats How We Roll' is our name and I'm the handicapper. WTH?! I'm a handicapper?!


I don't own a home, I don't have a job, most of my 401k has been spent on moving cross country and otherwise, I don't have medical insurance, I need to lose 20 pounds and gawd. I'm exhausted.

Whoa...I just totally went I to psycho mode. I need chocolate....and a fluffy pillow.

Anyway, yea, I love fall.  I even bought some mums. Not as sweet as Saunderskill mums but they are better than nothing. Man...do any of you people realize how long its been since I've had a Hallowine Party? Sigh. I do.

Maybe since its my favorite season, things will start to look brighter as the days get darker. I'm ironic like that. Who knows...maybe I'll get a job at Sonic. 



So, how are you guys doing?

*Peace.




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