Why is it every time I get out of the shower and comb my hair, I pull enough from my head to make a wig for Sunny? I don't abuse my hair. I rarely blow dry, occasionally straighten, never get perms, color it blonde only when I see gray and blonde is my natural hair color. So, what the problem? I don't have cancer, I'm nowhere near a nuclear plant, I don't suffer from female pattern baldness and I don't have Trichotillomania. What the hell?!
Has anyone noticed that the quality of the things we buy have gone down the toilet? When I lived in NY, 23 years ago, I was shopping at 'Not Fade Away' in Woodstock. I bought these awesome tie dye scrunch socks that I LOVED. They finally got a hole on the heel a few years ago. Luckily, I was vacationing in NY a couple of years ago, went into 'Not Fade Away' and bought another pair of tie dye scrunch socks. Yes, the store was still there and yes, they still had the socks.
Not even 2 years went by and I noticed they had a hole in the heel!! Wth? How can a pair bought in the 80's last for 20 years and a pair bought in this new millennium last 2 years? Crap, I say. But, I texted my daughter, who is still In NY for her last semester, and asked her to bring me another pair. Rawr.
Well, I have been unemployed since May and I have accomplished nothing! Ugh. I said I was going to write a book....I'm only on page 2. I said I was going to create things......I've 'pinned' more than I've created. I said I was going to work out...I'm using my increasing muffin top as an iPad holder. Yea.
I also thought about getting a puppy. A Lab named Jack. I'm home all the time so I could train him and he'd be the greatest dawg ever. Not like Sunny...who I'm just hoping dies soon because she's..not to be cute or funny but...she's a total bitch.
Anyway. The only thing I have accomplished is becoming a lazy recluse...which I'm awesome at, btw. Too bad it doesn't pay. Le sigh.
I have applied for many jobs, gone on a few interviews and have been trying to think of anything I could do to make money. Anything legal and that doesn't require me to get nudey. One of the things I thought of was getting an ice cream truck. I could drive around all day, playing music that's isnt a creepy duck quacking 'Hello' song and just making kids smile.
So, look at these trucks:
I could totally have something cute! Especially if I could hire Henry to paint it!
But...what would I call my ice cream truck?? Hmmmm.....