June 30, 2013

Ummm...Hello? Bravo?

Do you ever get tired of eating the same things? I swear, I am SO bored with food. It pisses me off. I buy the same stuff, cook the same stuff and eat the same stuff. If they can create 42 different flavors of chips, why can't they create different types of food? It doesn't matter how many flavors Lays has. 9 times out of 10, I'm buying the plain. 

Oh, here's another ass burn thing. Why is it that every time you drop a bagel or piece of toast, the butter/jelly/honey side lands on the floor?  That pisses me off, too. 

You know what else pisses me off? Sunny. It's bad enough that I don't like her, now she is in heat. It skeeves me out so badly! Then I get mad at Abe for being an irresponsible pet owner. She's so nasty. She whines more when she is in heat and she rubs her twat all over everything. Ugh! She was outside yesterday and the neighbor came over to pet her. I swear, she basically put her vag in his hand. I was mortified. Ew. Sunny should belong to a couple of whores I know. She'd fit in and that would make sense. Ha.

It does make me feel good to know that almost everyone can't stand Sunny. I am an animal lover but I don't love her. Actually, I've taken a poll and only three people like Sunny. Abe, his daughter, Sammi and my mom. Ew again.  I wish that freaking dog whisperer, Carlos, would answer my damn email and come figure this psycho mutt out. 

Ok. I'm done being pissed off.

Well....I'm in Tennessee now and, while I hate to admit it, I like it better than I thought. It's like West Coast easy with East Coast beauty. I can be at PF Changs in 20 minutes or I can be in the woods in 20 minutes. That's pretty cool. I'm totally fitting in, too. I'm barefoot, sweaty and covered in mosquito bites. 

I wonder what happened to that Vegas girl I used to know. Haha.

I'm here, what, a month? Already, I'm left alone.  Abe went to Fl. Amanda went to MO. I'm left with the beasts. Again. I told you a while back, I always get screwed. Psh. I actually don't mind being alone, I don't have to cook, entertain, talk, nothing. In fact, I can stay in my pjs, lay on the couch and not shower for 5 days. 



Shush. You're just jealous.

I watch bad TV when I'm home alone. Seriously. I have been watching Bravo all day. I got sucked in to this sad little show called Princesses:Long Island. It's all about these ugly, whiney, big nose chicks who worry about getting old, not being married and what their mommys and daddys can buy them. Ugh. If I were Jewish, I'd boycott that show. 

Oy. I am excited, though, because Housewives of New Jersey is back on and it's Big Brother season! Woohoo! 

It's the little things, people. I like trashy reality TV. I admit it.


I do have a boat load of things to do. So, I shouldn't be bored. I guess if I get bored, I could take a bubble bath. But, then again, no. There's something gross about laying in a tub full of dirty body water. I like the idea of bubble baths....just not baths in general. 

The one thing I don't do when I'm alone is eat. I really gotta force myself to make something. Like, it's 6:30p and I'm simply not interested. I wonder why that is? Huh.

The one thing I don't like is sleeping alone. Which is weird. I never thought I would be like that but I am. I'm used to Abe being next to me. He's all warm and cozy. I like that. Abe is funny. He's a sleep talker. I wish I had a journal to write down all the craziness he says. Almost every night I get a 'Yes' or an 'Uh huh'. But, then there are those special nights where he says actual sentences like 'I only have three but you can have one.' Awww. So sweet. He's a sharer! Or 'We have 12 monkeys and no cottage cheese!' Awwww. He's bat shit crazy. Haha! 

I've always thought my life with Amanda should be a reality show. But, my life with Amanda AND Abe should definitely be one. It'd be hysterical. Surely it would be better than the LI Princesses. 

Ummm....hello? Bravo? 

What am I gonna do when Amanda goes back to NY? I'm not liking that. At all. BUT, she has one more semester to finish and she'll have her degree. I'm going to go through empty nest syndrome. I have never been without her for more than 10 days at a time. In one month, my ENS is going to be at its height. I may not survive. Just saying. I can handle a week or ten days. It's rough but I can do it, but. ALMOST 5 MONTHS???

4.5 months = 2 birthdays, 2 seasons, 6 holidays, 139 days, 3,336 hours, 200,160 minutes, 120,900...ok, ok. Haha! That's getting a little carried away. 


I swear, I had some funny shit to write but as soon as I sat down, I forgot it. Actually, that's not true, as soon as I saw the previous post in my draft box, I forgot. Psh.