February 24, 2013

Taboo?

Ok....everyone picks their nose, farts and pees in the shower. I don't care who you are. I don't care if you grew up in a trailer or in a 4 bedroom house in a gated community. You have done all of these things.

It's human nature. It happens. It's ok.

My question is simply this....why are these things taboo?

It's not like you are having sexual relations with balloon animals like on that show Taboo. Or eating cat hair like on that show Strange Addictions. Now those type of things would make me wonder about your mental health. Just like you are probably wondering about mine now that you know what I watch on TV. 

Abe is in charge of the remote. That's all I'm saying. 

Ahem.

So.

You can pick your friends but you can't pick your nose.

You can. And you do. 91% of people pick their nose. 99.5% of people don't admit it. Haha! I made that shit up. But, it is a common practice with multiple reasons for doing it.  You may not want bats in your cave. You're trying to clear your nasal passage so you can breathe. Your brain itches. Whatever. We all do it.

In fact, I'm doing it right now. Haha! Just kidding. I don't want boogs on my iPad.



Then.

The one who smelt it dealt it.

Did you know that a healthy adult farts between 7-14 times a day? It's healthy! It's good! It's normal! So, let 'er rip. But..like all classy gassy people, don't forget to say 'Excuse me' after the magical puff of gas escapes your ass.  





And.

Save water..shower with a friend.

How about peeing in the shower? 75 out of 100 people admit to peeing in the shower.  Guess what? They are saving the planet! According to Glamour, approximately 27 % of indoor water use comes from flushing the toilet. So save water! Brag to the masses about your eco-friendly life!  Unless you have some sort of funky infection, urine is sterile and non-toxic. In fact, it will treat athletes foot and jellyfish stings. Haha!  Brilliant.



Anyway. I know there are a million gross things that people do every day, several times a day. These are just the things I think about while I pee in the shower.;)

Peace.