February 20, 2012

Places I Steal From.

The bank. They have a Keurig for customers so I always take a K-cup when I leave.

Work. Come on, people, who doesn't take a pen or post its? If you say no, you're a liar and a thief.

Walmart. Hey...when my blood sugar drops, I'm eating a snack and so what. Ha.

Nature. I don't cut trees down but I will steal a fallen one for heat. Hmmmhmmmm.

Ex-landlords. It's my leather jacket now...and my garden tools.

My Doctor. Hey, you never know when you might need a pair of rubber gloves. *wink wink nudge nudge*

The internet. I steal funny shit from this place all of the time. Eh...sue me.

My boyf. I steal his shirt and jacket all the time. He won't even wear the jacket now because it has blonde hair all over it so, technically, it's mine now.

Restaurants. I steal Splenda all the time. I've stolen silverware. In fact, I used to have the cutest tiny silver spoons that I stole when I was in Ireland. I've also taken little ramekins that my ketchup or sauce has been in for random places. Too bad I've lost all of these things since moving around the country. Mental note to restock.

The funny thing is...Abe & Amanda both know I steal things. haha! I'm like a modern day Robin Hood. I'm poor and they are my merry men. :)

I probably would think I was a kleptomaniac but I'm not OCD. Oh, wait.....maybe I am. Damn it! It's not so much the NEED. It's the CHALLENGE. I just like to see if I can get away with it. I don't necessarily need the stuff I take. I just like taking it. I'm just glad I'm a klepto and not a hoarder. Whew. Thankfully, Amanda got the hoarding gene. haha!

I'm probably going to hell but I don't care. That's where all the fun people will be. Besides, I have no doubt that everyone has sticky fingers here and there. This is a safe place, tell the truth.



  1. My "good" flatware and my most elegant napkins are from upscale hotels. I pilfer all manner of small things from places I go. You're right; it isn't need, it's a challenge. Truthfully it's been a while since I ...um... helped myself to anything but I haven't traveled anywhere lately.

  2. I took a box of 1000 tongue depressors from my doctor's office. Okay, not really, but I wanted to. We make popsicles a lot.

  3. btw I have reported you to your local authorities. It's for your own good.

  4. I'm stealing your blog, Cary. :D