January 24, 2012

Tuesday in my Brain.

I have come to the conclusion that getting to work on time simply makes the day longer. And to think, all these years I’ve been a stickler for being on time. I can’t stand it when people are late. It's so roo, and, when I’m late, it totally stresses me out. But…maybe I am missing out on the whole ‘fashionably late’ thing. Maybe I will give it a shot. I am totally fashionable and I could totally be late.


Hey, did you know that over 19 million people, worldwide, share the same birthday as you? Doesn’t make you feel special at all, does it? So, answer me this….if 19 million people are born on the same day….how can horoscopes be remotely correct? Is the same damn thing happening to 19 million people on the same damn day? That’s absurd. But, if it is true then how can horoscopes be accurate? I also wonder if fortune tellers and palm readers are accurate. They all pretty much say the same basic bullshit that could generally apply to anyone. It’s still kind of fun, though. Right?

I wish it was my birthday. I want a present.

You know what bugs me? When people don’t watch where I’m going when I’m texting and walking. Psh. What?! They can’t see what I’m doing and get the hell out of my way? Seriously. If I see someone texting and walking, I move out of their way!


I also don’t like it when I disappear in crowds and people run right into me. I always look at Amanda and say ‘Did I phase out again?’ I can’t believe I’m that unnoticeable. I’d rather believe that people are just roo. I wish I had to ability to disappear on my terms. It’d be awesome to listen to conversations that I’m not invited to or avoid people I don’t want to see. I wish I could text and walk and disappear whenever I wanted to. That’d be sweet.

I also wish I’d hit lotto. Soon. Cause I’m tired of working and being poor.

Let’s talk about SOPA/PIPA for a second. I think the Government trying to control the internet is SOPAthetic. I didn’t realize we lived in China. Our country is turning into an effing George Orwell novel. Does anyone notice that? I wonder what our country will be like for my daughter. Perhaps she has the right idea about moving to Europe. Maybe my gypsy self would do well in another country.


In other news, I wish I had a friend with benefits. By benefits, I mean a friend who owns a coffee shop. A friend that lets me have an unlimited supply of free coffee and donuts every day.

I want chocolate and I’m a caffeine addict.



  1. If I could be invisible, I would probably just make a beeline to the nearest place with lots of naked women. Shameful, isn't it? But it's the truth.

  2. Found your site randomlly. Some stuff you said was sensible and amusing.