“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I saw this quote the other day and it made me smile...then frown. I hate when that shit happens. Ya know that feeling? When something so wonderful has the ability to make you so sad.
I want to gain but never lose. That's selfish, I know, but I hate to hurt. I'm sure everyone hates to hurt and yet, we all do. We all are sensitive to some extent. We all have feelings that get hurt by the slightest slip. We all question, doubt, fear, hate. We are all afraid, on some level, of being hurt. And, oddly enough, there isn't one person who hasn't been hurt. So...we know what it is. We know what it does. We know what it destroys. We know what it creates. Why is it so hard for us to just feel it and carry on? Why do we fear it so?
I pride myself in being this amazingly strong human being....with a huge heart...and the ability to love fully, completely, loyally and forever. It's like I am this warrior on the outside. Yet, I'm this scared, little girl on the inside. I'm a freaking enigma! No wonder I sometimes feel like I'm insane! haha
Whenever I become really close to someone and a bond is formed, whether it's friendship or otherwise, I always describe myself as a hard candy with a soft, gooey inside. Lame but true. I hope I'm chocolate...with really good caramel.
Another thought is why...we always focus on the loss and not the gain? I have lost so much in the past 1.5 years but what I have gained is overwhelmingly more significant than the loss. Yet...I always come back to the loss. I, more often than not, focus on the hurt. The wrong. The negative. Why is that? I'm more than certain I'm not the only one who does this insane crap. We breed on negativity. It surrounds the human race like a black cloud. You hear more people complain than spread goodness.
I just Googled the opposite of complain. That's really sad. I probably need counseling after that realization. Ugh.
But, you know it's true. More people bitch and moan about life than praise and cheer about it. So, what if....what if...everyone chose to praise and cheer. It's a new year. New beginnings. New hopes. New dreams. New everything. I won't say try for the entire year because that would just cause you to stress and bitch and moan, so let's simply start with a day. Once you've accomplished that, let's move it up to a week, then a month and then let's just keep going.
If you feel moody, choose happiness. If you feel like complaining, don't. If you feel nasty and hurt, have a piece of hard chocolate with really good caramel in the middle.
Let's all try and resolute to focus on the gain.
I am...and I will.
I've lost a damn lot. But I have gained SO much more that is SO much more wonderful.
2012 is gonna be amazing.