September 19, 2011


I honest to blog think I was a gypsy in a past life.

Yes...yes....I'm moving again. This time I am moving into a gorgeous house in the woods. A gorgeous PRIVATE house in the woods. No creepers, stalkers, golfers or nosy neighbors all up in my business. Hooorah! This rental also has a year lease so I can rest assure that my wandering soul won't be moving over the next 360 days. Hooorah again! What is sad is that 360 days just doesn't seem long enough. I am so tired of moving!

Luckily for me, I haven't completely unpacked from the last 6 moves I've made over the past 1.5 years. Yes....6.....jaysus....I know! I said gypsy!! Or maybe I'm a wanderer since I'm blonde and most gypsies aren't.

This weekend, A, A and I drug all the crap from the spider shed and started condensing. Now, I condensed when I left Vegas and I thought I gave up a lot of stuff. (I miss you hammock!) I felt like leaving Vegas caused me to give up most of my life. Never until now did I realize how much I truly gave up. It was super sad. If you don't remember my torment, you can go back and read Under Pressure for yourself.

Then I condensed again in Seattle. What I couldn't sell or give away, I left on the street for anyone to take. Not so sad this time because I was in a numb state of being from July '10 to January '11. I went from like a 26' foot truck with a car tow to a 5'8' cargo trailer to a who knows what size utility trailer that I'm borrowing from my dad next weekend. Altogether that's a pretty sad story...but I know it will have a happy ending. It's my story. How could it not?

This time condensing didn't take that much time or energy. After all, I don't have a lot of anything left. Sad but true. This time I was purging what remained of my ex-stuff. I'm not typically a keeper. I like to erase all fragments of a failed relationship and carry on fresh. Very rarely do I find it necessary to rehash the past. Generally, the only thing I keep is their phone number so I know when NOT to answer. :)

However, there were those special few...very few...that caused me to tuck away a special few.....very few.....little mementos. Three to be exact. Each having their own Xbox which contained their own little memories. A Christmas ornament, a 'Love Is' coaster, a Fiji necklace, play tickets, a video...brown chicken brown cow....OH, STOP! You know you have done this. If not, you have thought about it or wanted to so shush. Letters, I did keep a couple of the pictures, though, because I looked good in them! haha! AND they were good moments of my life. The Junior Ring Dance, the Bahama's, a wedding, Amanda's first fishing trip, a Gilded Otter luncheon.

Noooo....this did not make me think about sex tapes. Pervs. This made me think about Keepers and Purgers. I'm a Purger...(and a perv, but shhh.) I'm simple, not a fan of clutter and don't enjoy torture. So, bye! I purge. I know a lot of women who are keepers. Perhaps they need a gentle reminder of love lost or good times gone by. I can understand this because I kept Xboxes. Good times gone by. But, gone by, nonetheless.

Out of respect and complete adoration for A, the past needed to stay in the past. This beautiful man has given up so much just to be with me. Me! Simply because he has loved me for 20+ years. Wow. Mindblowing. The least I could do is throw out the Xboxes. In fact, I have never before wanted so badly to throw out the Xboxes. That kind of love alone is worth more than anything. He happily carried the Xboxes out to the garbage and that's when I smiled.

I smiled because I have those memories and I smiled because I have more memories to make.

It felt good to purge. It felt good to finally want to purge. Really good. It made me wonder why I held on for so long. Some of this crap I have had since high school and it has travelled more than those few I was with! haha! So, why keep? The memories exist whether or not you have a movie ticket stub. And, are women the only keepers? Or do men also have Xboxes full of memorabilia that they open from time to time?

I wonder....

So, I'm good. I'm cleansed. I'm free. I'm ready.

I'm still going to have Amanda smudge, though.

Better safe than sorry, I always say.