March 7, 2011

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.

I would tell you point blank that I am not a liar....but that would be a lie. Everyone lies. At least to some extent. Now that is true.

When you were a kid, you lied so you wouldn't get in trouble. 'I didn't break the vase, Mom!!'

When you were a teen, you lied so the boy would like you or so you could get into the girls pants. 'I love you, I promise!'

When you are an adult, you lie to not hurt feelings. 'No, you don't look fat in that outfit!'

So, let's give the kids & teens a free pass for this blog. Since most of my readers are adults...or older's ok to just focus on THE adults. I think that as an adult, the only lies that should be acceptable are 'white lies'. You know...those innocent, harmless, minor falsities.

'No, you don't look fat.'
'Yes, your makeup looks fabulous.'
'I can't come into work, I don't feel well.'

You really can't say your fat makes you look fat, your face & neck are two different colors & I really just want to lay on the couch eating chips & watching 'Sex in the City' reruns all day. You would love to...but it wouldn't be nice.

The one thing I despise more than anything...even cauliflower...are the adults who lie for no apparent reason. Anyone who knows me knows this is true. I speak the truth..and, yes, sometimes the truth hurts. I'm sorry.....BUT...I'd rather be hurt by the truth than to be hurt by the fact that someone choses to be a deceitful, weak, treacherous, game playing, liar. I guess the reason I hate it so much is because I don't understand the reasoning. I don't understand the why. I don't understand the concept. If there is no point....I mean, if you won't get in trouble, you have no chance of getting laid and nothing at all is expected from you, then why do it?

Is it that you actually and whole heartedly believe the words that are coming out of your mouth at the moment you are saying them? I mean, is that possible? Then when you walk away, you realize that it's not possible? Or...does it make you feel powerful? Successful? Does it inflate your ego? I don't get it. Maybe I'm not supposed to because I choose to be a stand up person. A good person. Someone who actually cares about the people in her life and goes to every extent to not hurt anyone without cause or just. But, meh, that's just me. I choose not to be a liar, liar, pants on fire.

Oh, and PS, great thing about being an adult is that I have the power to choose who I allow into my life and why. Liars are not allowed on 'Team Kelly'....but this guy is.

This leads me to my next thought. Is the ability to choose a good mate & have a successful relationship hereditary? I was talking to my dad yesterday about my colossal relationship faux pas. He told me it must be the ::insert family name::: curse. He said that I must get it from him because he cannot have a successful relationship. Positive way of seeing things but, hey. He just left his woman in the desert so he was a little pissy. Anyway, this statement caused my brain to, of course, over analyze & beat the crap out of it.

Maternal grandmother was married 4 times and was alone. Maternal grandfather was married 2 times. Step grandfather was married 1 time and is alone.
Paternal grandmother was married 1 time and died alone. Paternal grandfather was married 1 time and spent the remainder of his days with another woman.
Mom was married 3 times and is alone. Dad was married 2 times, but has children with 3 different women and is alone.
I was married 1 time and am alone.

Based on the family history, the one thing I decided was that I need to get married 1 more time to break the female chain of marital failure. That way Amanda will only be married 1 time and it will last forever. The other thing I decided was my family is mental. haha!

Here's what my friend, Cheets, told me in response to my recent query: 'You are MORE than capable and deserving of being in a great relationship. It's NOT you fucking them up Kelly. It's your choice of males. They are unable to understand you, support you, love you, honor you and contend with you. Morons!'

Mwah, Cheets, you're right on all accounts.

So, I obviously need to break the pattern...starting now. Especially if I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life AND I want Amanda to live happily ever after in her marriage. haha! As if I'm going to be soley responsible for that. :D What I do know is that I won't be alone forever. For now, yes, I choose to be alone because I'm totes not ready to tackle the relationship road. I have a new life to adapt to. New job, new house, new surroundings, new people, new places. I need time to fully adjust & build a life here with my daughter. I do have my priorities, after all.

Besides, I'm not a relationship hopper. It's not high school where you'd break up with someone on Monday & have a new someone on Tuesday. No. I think there needs to be time in between. Time to regroup...and many life changes & upheavals need.

But...I do miss kissing. Maybe I can kiss a few frogs while adapting. I. Love. Kissing. It's one of my favorite things. My last boyf had a beautiful mouth. He did. Hmmm......yea....maybe I'll keep the kissing option open for now.

Now, enough relationship blah de blah and on to the important life questions....

If you have a hairy mole....why don't you have it removed? Especially if it's smack dab in the middle of your face? I swear...I'm more than certain this moley moley moley causes you much grief. Please, know causes everyone else just as much grief because we can't look away. Unfortunately, not only do I wear my heart on my sleeve, I also wear all of my emotions on my face immediately as I feel them. *sigh* Please, don't make me hurt your feelings or lie to you about not noticing. Go chop it off....

....and make some guacamoley! Teehee!


1 comment:

  1. Fab blog Kelly! I laughed out loud. I miss you!