February 15, 2011

Crazy Train Convos

How many people talk to their cars? I do. I’ll admit it. Especially since moving to New York and dealing with snow & ice for the first time in 20 years. First time ever dealing with snow & ice for Taffy. Poor girl. She’s from San Diego, for cripes sake!! Yes, I named my car. Shush. I actually talk to & name all of my cars. The names are based on the colors. The convos are based on several things. I thank her..a lot..for a job well done. I apologize for not washing her & being nicer. I encourage her quite often knowing that her job must suck. I’ve even love patted her dash or wheel on occasion. I am pretty sure I’m not the only passenger on this crazy train. I’m also pretty sure that my car conversations are more intelligent than most convos I have with adults.

Speaking of conversations, have you ever noticed that when a stomach growls, your stomach responds? Or does that just happen to Amanda & I? Our stomach’s have convo all the time. I’ll hear her stomach growl, because I never feed her, and I’ll laugh. Two seconds later my inability to keep quiet becomes obvious as my stomach responds. We can go back & forth until one of us gives in and goes to grab a sandwich. I wonder if growling is contagious… like yawning.

Speaking of crazy trains, another passenger on board is Leonardo Damon…..or Matt DiCaprio. Yes, I am 98% sure that Leonardo DiCaprio & Matt Damon are the same person. What? I do! Not only do they look like they were separated at birth, they are rarely in the same place at the same time & some of their movies are oddly similar. The 2% unsurety is because I know Matt Damon is fucking Sarah Silverman and Leo isn’t.....yet.

Here are some more random thoughts…or questions…or enigmas...or passengers that have also been riding the crazy train.

Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first? I am still trying to figure this one out. The non-snorer should be exhausted and instantly fall asleep but nope. Never happens. Crazy.

This is very sweet but it still makes me giggle. When I was driving the huge Penske, towing my car & headed up the West Coast, I couldn’t believe how many people told me to be careful. The same while driving my car towing a U-Haul cross country, or during a snow storm…always the same…’Be Careful’. Well, der! Like I would be anything but careful! Like I got behind the wheel, said to Taffy ‘Hey! Taffy! Let’s be reckless! Wahooo!’ Like I said…so terribly sweet & thoughtful…but still. Crazy.

Those adorable Facebook friends who upload pictures of themselves…and ‘Like’ them. The same with posting a comment and liking it. Obvs you like it, otherwise you wouldn’t have posted it. I don’t get these people and this behavior. At all. Crazy.

The other day, I had a moment with this girl who is SO active on Facebook. I mean, I'm overly active on FB, too...it's called boredom...but I am social in person. This girl, not so. It's like she couldn't converse without her face shoved in a monitor and her pads furiously typing away. Is being socially interactive making us anti-social? Is this where our youth is headed? Crazy.

Lastly, the crazy train passenger who obsesses over relationships that had barely lasted a moment in time. I think obsessing should be saved for relationships that, at the very least, lasted a year. I may even give a free pass for half a year. But, nothing less. Obsessing over anything less makes you unstable, certifiable and a lovely candidate for medication or a restraining order. Just saying. Crazy.

OH! One more crazy for the road. I said I’d never listen to country but may have changed my mind because of songs like this. I know the perfect audience for this ditty. Enjoy...ya Crazy.