August 10, 2010

IRL

Ok, seriously, I'm sitting in my apartment eating chips & dips because I'm tired of low carbing it. So, what goes along with being a fatty? Watching TV. A commercial for Match.com just came on blatantly telling me that 1 in 5 relationships start online. 1 in 5. I think about the people I know...and I know a lot of people. However, I only know one that has met their soul mate online and is now happily married.

*Yay, ShannonDoa!'

















But, I can't see this being the way it's done. At least, not for me. I mean 1 in 5? Really? I am honestly in shock. Let me think about a few of the couples I know and the places they met......

*Gym.
*Work.
*Dog park.
*School.
*Online.

Oh. My. Gawd. Is it true? Let's be realistic for a moment regarding my shot at love based on the 1 in 5 rule. I hate the gym. I don't have a job. I don't have a dog. I've graduated. Welp, that leaves just one option.....really? Just one? I can't believe that. I won't believe that.

I don't think I need to join a dating website. I mean, have you seen those guys? I have. I've created a free profile just so I could see who was swimming in my dating pool. Needless to say, I told you I just ate. I need to stay out of the water for at least an hour, probably more. I'll lay on the beach and tan instead. Maybe nap a little. Build a sand castle. Read. Anything but swim.

I guess I'm old school regarding some things. I admittedly have trust issues and I just feel online dating allows people the opportunity to hide many things. I also am a gut feeling girl. I can't gut feel via the internetz. I simply prefer IRL interactions. Anyone can be anything online. *sigh* I guess I'll just throw on a wedding dress and go stand in front of the local hospital until my Dr. husband shows up. Shouldn't take too long....any second now....tick tock....















I received an email the other day from my friend, Jen. This is what she said: 'Still think you should replace Perez Hilton and become the master blogger. You are soooo much cuter and much more entertaining......and I think he's a douche!' Awww...thanks, Jen! xo Oh, and Perez, yea, sorry...but you are a total bitch. On a positive note though, you look SO much better.

BEFORE:






















AFTER:





















He went from 'ugh puke in my mouth' to just 'ugh'. Certainly an improvement.

I wonder how I can bring my blogs up to fame mode. That bitch Perez isn't gonna help me now. I don't have the money to promote myself. I just rely on my loyal Facebook readers to keep me ranting. I need a book or movie deal. I could totally rock out a 'Sex in the City' like mega hit. Fo' sho'. So, anyone with ideas on how to make that happen, let me know.

Did I tell you there is a spirit living in our apartment? Totes mcgoats. We became aware of this shortly after moving in. There are only a few things I am certain of. It's a woman. She's not scary. She likes to steal stuff or move things around. Currently, she has stolen a vegetable peeler, my Amersterdam shirt with the cute little windmill on it, Amanda's black tank top and a strainer. What is she trying to do anyone? Maybe she wants to look cute while making me a healthy snack.

I only see shadows but Amanda saw an actual female form. That's how we know it's a woman. I need to name her. A Victorian name, methinks. Our apartment was once a Nordic Market back in the 20's, so it's a definite possibility that it haunted. A lot of places in Seattle are haunted. I think it's cool. However, I do have sage sitting out ready to be lit in case she gets out of line. It's like a little warning. But, for now, she's allowed to wander. I just wish she'd give my shirt back.














In the meantime, here is my latest fabu web find: 1000 Awesome Things. Loves. It.

For those who get tired of reading, you can have a couch party with this:



Did I mention that my daughter loves David Hasselhoff? It's true. Please send money for counseling.

*Peace.

3 comments:

  1. I met my fiance online. I know 2 others that met their husbands on the same site, and another that met her fiance on another site. In my life, it's more like 4 of 5 people meet their significant others online. :) If you are going to give it a shot, I've tried OKCupid, eharmony, match, yahoo personals, and a slew of others. i met guys on all of them but the only one that stuck around long enough *cough*booty call sites*cough* was the fiance... and I met him on OKCupid which is FREE. I can't even begin to tell you how much I've shelled out over the years to meet loser guys and then met my mr. perfect on a free site. :)
    xo

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  2. Seriously? First, congrats! That's fantastic! :)) Second, I guess, where else do you meet guys? The bar is so 1980's. haha! I need time to readjust my thinking. BUT, you've changed my current statistics! Yay for you, Becca! xo

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  3. An acquaintance of mine met her latest at a bar.. but I'm leery of how long it's going to last ;) Honestly, I jumped feet first into the internet revolution that I've been meeting friends and boyfriends online since 1994. It's so hard to meet people elsewhere once you're out of school and don't interact with people on a daily basis, ya know?

    Also, thanks! We'll be arriving in Vegas in like 7 weeks for the wedding.. Too bad you had to go and move ;)

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