August 17, 2010

Dear Moms.

You know what's interesting? Teenage dynamics. Everyone knows that once a person enters the teen stage, life becomes wildly erratic.

For all involved.

My daughter & I have a wonderful relationship. Seriously, it's true. I'm not one of those crazy mom's who think their child is the bees knees when truly they are just the opposite. I am not one of those crazy mom's living in a fairy land of my own creation regarding my kid. My kid IS the bees knees. Anyone who has met my kid knows I have done my job well. I am a good mom. It's the thing I am the best at. My kid knows she can talk to me about anything without judgment. My kid knows she can trust me. My kid knows I would move heaven and Earth for her, without hesitation, without question, without reserve. We are friends. We are family. We are a unit. We are soul mates.

However, she is not perfect by any means and neither am I. I know...shocking...right?!

What's interesting is that many teens do not have a functioning relationship with their parents. If my kid has heard it once, she has heard it 1000 times about how no one her age has that sort of relationship with either their mom or their dad. This makes me very proud and oddly sad for our youth. Parents do not seem to want to parent. Kids do not seem to want to be parented. While both should.

What's also interesting is that teenage girls embrace our relationship.

Teenage boys are threatened by it.

Now, I have not raised a son, only a daughter. So, I may not be an expert on raising a man...but mom's...please do. Raise a man. Raise men. Raise respectful, intelligent, caring, strong and sensitive men. The world is full of douches, we do not need to add any more to the mix.

My kid has quite a few male friends and she has had several 'love interests'. What amazes me is the lack of respect in this generation. What amazes me is the level of douchebaggery.

I've seen it. I've taken the blame for it. I've been the 'reason' for it. I've not allowed it. I've cock blocked it....yes....I have. Therefore , I feel the need to not address the boys in this post. They won't listen anyway. In this post, I feel the need to address the Moms.

Dear Moms.

I beg of you, please, teach your sons that it's not respectful to hang all over a teenage girl in front of her parents. It's not. In fact, it's not ok to hang all over a teenage girl when her parent's are not there!!

Many parents have loaded weapons. Many parents aren't afraid to shoot said son in the roaming hands.

It's not ok to make a teenage girl feel uncomfortable and, in turn, piss the parent of that teenage girl off.

It's not ok to get pissed off, pout, pull the guilt trip, or be a baby when the girl says no. No means no. NO. MEANS. NO. Stop means stop. Back off means back off. Take words of this nature at face value.

It's not ok to make a teenage girl feel inferior. All teenagers suffer from low self esteem, all of them. It is not ok to make anyone feel badly about themselves. Ever.

Dear Moms.

Teach your sons that it is not ok to bully, stronghold, manipulate, be aggressive or belittle a teenage girl. I will teach my teenage daughter that it is not ok to do or be those things either. Raise your son to be a man. A man who has manners, morals and values. A man who makes decisions based on right and wrong. A man who knows compassion and love. A man who is confident to show both. A man that knows understanding. A man that you, yourself, would be crazy about.

In turn, I will teach my daughter to respect your son and treat him the way he deserves to be treated. I will do my very best to teach her how to have a healthy relationship. I know she has respect for adults so I don't have to teach her that. I know she has manners, values, virtue and most importantly, morals. I know I have taught her to be a healthy, confident and happy human being. I know I have done my part to raise the best person I can. Please, please do the same for your sons.

Thank you.

This Dear Mom.

I realize that life is busy, and stressful, and hard, and full, and difficult, and jam packed, and really just complete and total madness, but you chose to have children. You chose to be a parent. So parent. Sadly, not enough people do anymore and it's very apparent in many teenagers. How do I know? I know these teenagers. I've seen these teenagers. I've been witness to these teenagers. I've worried for these teenagers. I've cried for these teenagers. I've hurt for these teenagers. I've hoped for these teenagers.

We, as parents, are raising humans. Our daughters, our sons. Humans. Individuals. We are raising the people that we wish we were. The people that will take charge of the future. Of our future. So, teach them, talk to them, care for them, nurture them, love them, listen to them and, most importantly, make time for them.

The world will be a much better place if you would.

Thank you.


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