May 8, 2010

Fatty, Fatty, 2x4.

Last night, Amanda & I were watching Grey's Anatomy. One of the patients was as big as a house, had pun intended...of medical issues & had a skinny, pretty wife. Two things about this particular story line struck me. One was that Yang called him a 'Fatty, fatty, 2x4'. Amanda & I both started laughing. I used to call Amanda that all the time. It's been shortened & now we just use 'fatty' but it was great to hear the original being used by an unlikely source.

The second the thing that struck me was when the skinny, pretty wife was talking about how her husband became a fatty. The story was that he was laid off (hi) 2 years ago, couldn't find a job (hello), became super depressed (hey there) and he took comfort in eating. (hiya) OMGawd!! I have been in sweats for 2 weeks. I have more than likely gained back the 10 pounds back I lost for the wedding. I have been looking & applying for several jobs daily and hearing nothing.

I'm thinking about all of this when I realize that I am shoving chips & dip into my piehole and not even realizing that I'm eating. I wasn't even tasting it. Seriously. Look at this picture! I'm such a fatty that I dropped a chip on the floor! I didn't see it until I came back from washing the dip bowl! Oy...I don't wanna be a Fatty McFatterson.

I have a question. Everyone poops, right? Everyone. We all know this. But have you ever gotten poop chills? Or poop shivers? No? Neither have I.

Speaking is a super weird yet wildly entertaining video. Consider this a commercial break.

Now that I am unemployed, I have become completely unmotivated & uninspired. It's crazy. I keep telling everyone that I feel lost. I have been working since I was 13. It feels weird not going to work. Believe me, I hated my job but it was part of my process. Now, my process is all jacked up. Staying home actually makes me feel exhausted. Either life has truly kicked my ass & I am exhausted or I have become incredibly lazy. It's not like I don't have things to do either! I have to pack!!

Ugh. Packing. First, I think I'm a hoarder. Seriously. I think someone should call that show & have them come over. I have only packed part of my garage, my office closet & the little closet above the fridge. I filled a 96 gallon container and a 32 gallon container. Holy trash! I swear I am finding the most random array of crap that I never knew I had stashed away! For instance, today I found 2 sailor hats, my Mirage Resorts personnel file and a fish tank. My friend, Laura, suggested I do a photo blog of all the crazy crap I find and I think I might. Stayed tuned.

In the meantime, please repeat after me: HOARDER

Also, my cats must know I'm on my way to being a hoarding, fatty, fatty, 2x4 because they have been behaving strangely. My cats aren't lovable cats. They pretty much do their own thing & occasionally let you touch them. Recently they have been all over me. I was crying the other day, yea..pathetic..I know...shush. Finn kept coming up to me & rubbing my legs, jumping on my lap and meowing. Finn rarely meows. It's this hoarse, light mew, weird. Then Bella, a psychopath who never lets anyone come near her, has been all over me, too. Every time I'm on the computer job hunting, she comes up and taps me on the leg with her paw. Like 'Hey! It's ok!' It's so crazy! She's been meowing a lot, too.

Anyway, I don't want to ramble on like a crazy cat lady but they definitely know something is wrong with me. I guess they are trying to comfort me..and that's cute. I may keep them after all.


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