March 2, 2010

The Lying.

I've decided to pay homage to my blog title, The Lying, The Bitch & The Wardrobe. I now present, to you, part 1 of my series.

The Lying.

I am not a good liar. I’m not. My high school Social Studies teacher, Mr. Gillis, pulled me out in the hallway one day and said ‘Your face is an open book. You can’t hide anything and everyone knows the mood you are in the moment they see you.’ Oy. He was right. From that point on, I said screw it. I wasn’t even going to bother. I would just be brutally honest and everyone could sod off.

Plus the fact that I could never remember what the hell my lies were about. Yikes…awkward.

I do lie, though. ‘Oh, that eye shadow looks lovely.’ ‘No, those pants do not make you look fat.’ ‘Your hair is nice.’ ‘I love you.’ Hahaha! NO! No, I never lie about my feelings. Ever. I only spout the little white lies that are told in order to spare feelings and prevent dramatics or tear flowage.





















The truth is, everyone lies. White or otherwise. Daily. In fact, the average person lies 3 times during a ten minute conversation. Whoa....makes you wonder about all those 10 minute plus convos. So much for morals or credibility, huh? Haha!

There is a quote that states ‘A lie is not in the words, or lack of words; it’s in the intention of the deceiver.’ That says it all. The intention of the deceiver.

For example, I am a person who thinks omission is a form of lying. If you can’t tell me something, deal with my reaction and you choose to omit information instead, then you...are a liar. Your silence is an attempt at deceiving me into believing something different. Your omission is a form of withholding the truth or misleading me, or altering the outcome of a situation. Simply put, if your intentional silence manipulates the truth, then it is a lie by the clear definition of the word. Thanks, Mr. Webster. And screw you, liar, because your intent was not noble.





















If you are trying to decieve me and I feel betrayed, I harshly judge your character and your opinion of me. It's true.

During my drive to work, ‘Fake It’ by Seether, came blaring through my ipod. As I half assed listened while phasing out the drive, I caught the following lyrics: ‘Lies won’t hide your flaws.’ Huh. Seether is right. You are still flawed. Moreso after being a liar, liar, pants on fire.



That’s what some people don’t understand. That lying makes it worse. It also makes baby Jesus cry, so remember that.



When I catch someone lying, I find that I am more pissed at the lie then I am at the subject of their lie. Like, if Amanda says ‘I did clean my room.’ and I walk into her room only to find teenage clothes and shit everywhere. Obviously she didn’t clean her room! But, I no longer care about that. I care that she didn’t respect me enough to tell me the truth. I care that she lied. Now she will be in more trouble than she would have been had she said ‘You know what, Mom? I didn’t clean my room. Sorry.’









There are classic signs that every person shows when lying. Some people are better at lying than others, but if you pay attention, you will see these signs.

*No eye contact being made. People make eye contact when conversing. Maybe not constantly, but we look at the person we are talking to. If not, a web of lies is likely being created.

*The body language starts to vary. The person begins fidgeting, tapping their foot, or touching their face. It's almost as if they are nervous. Yea..nervous of getting busted!

*There could be a change in their voice or a lot of throat clearing. Kinda like Peter Brady when he was singing ‘Time to Change’ or kinda like the lie is choking them to death.



*The old subject change. Yea, that’s always fun and not noticeable at all.

*Speaking quickly. Hey, we aren't at an auction, are we?

*Humor. You’ve all heard the adage ‘many a truth are said in jest.’ Well, many a lie, too. Because they can always fall back on the old ‘I was joking!’ when they get caught!

*It sounds ridiculous. Duh. If a web of lies sounds outlandish, then guess what, it probably is! Now about that time the aliens abducted me....

Well, we all lie. Don’t we? The number of sex partners, our resume, how you are, calling in sick, your weight, your age. I think if you say you don’t ever lie, then it's quite possible, that you are living a lie. Just saying.

If you are lying for the greater good, then ok. However, I honestly want to know if I look like a hawt fat mess before I walk out the door. Thank you very much. If you are lying for humor's sake, then ok. 'My penis is so big I can pole vault with it.' Fine, fine. I know you are lying and I'm ok with that because I'm giggling. If you are lying to make yourself feel more empowered, successful, adventurous or popular, whatever. I could care less if you rode the mechanical bull for 40 minutes, won $1,000, met the man of your dreams who had to fly off to Italy and that's why you're at this bar alone. It doesn't affect me so I don't care. I won't think you are a liar, just full of shit.

But, if your lies are going to hurt a person, if the motivation is destructive, and the result is shattered trust, then I would suggest rethinking your words, intent or actions. Words hurt more than weapons and are typically never forgotten. That 'stick and stones' rhyme was a lie.

















Speaking of, I have ‘The Invention of Lying’ on my Netflix and I’m looking forward to watching it. That is not a lie.

*Peace.

1 comment:

  1. Loved this post!! How true!!!

    "For example, I am a person who thinks omission is a form of lying. If you can’t tell me something, deal with my reaction and you choose to omit information instead, then you...are a liar. Your silence is an attempt at deceiving me into believing something different. Your omission is a form of withholding the truth or misleading me, or altering the outcome of a situation. Simply put, if your intentional silence manipulates the truth, then it is a lie by the clear definition of the word. Thanks, Mr. Webster. And screw you, liar, because your intent was not noble."


    Yes yes yes yes yes yes!!!
    and:

    "But, if your lies are going to hurt a person, if the motivation is destructive, and the result is shattered trust, then I would suggest rethinking your words, intent or actions. Words hurt more than weapons and are typically never forgotten. That 'stick and stones' rhyme was a lie."


    Oh you hit the nail on the head with this post darlin'! NY Virgo's Unite! Ok ok, that's a bit over the top but maybe we can incorporate that and some of this into our Douche Patrol motto?? Hmmm.

    Gawd, I love your honesty. :-)

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