March 3, 2010

The Bitch.

Every woman is a bitch. Stop lying, you know it’s true. Bitch.

Because I am strong, won’t back down, am solid in my beliefs, won’t jump on anyone’s band wagon simply to be cool or accepted, am ok with being alone, stick up for my loved ones and speak my mind….I am called a bitch. Really? Huh. Well, I’m ok with that. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Hate me if you want.

Bitch can mean many things and it definitely has negative connotations but I also think it’s a positive thing. Let’s see….a female dog is a bitch. You can be a heartless bitch, you can bitch slap, you can be your man’s bitch, you can be a son of a bitch, life’s a bitch, you can have a bitch fight, you can be a skinny bitch…seriously, the list is never ending. There are too many bitches to know who you are. Haha! (Thanks, Elisa, my office bitch.)

So, let’s go to Google to find the definition of Bitch, shall we?


Wiki-wiki-wikitionary has several definitions:

1. Female dog.
2. A female who is malicious, spiteful, unbearable, intrusive, or obnoxious.
3. A man with any of these qualities, especially a gay man (suggesting his behavior is womanly) or a man who is dishonorable, cowardly, spineless, whiny, or otherwise behaves in a manner unbecoming a man.
4. A friend.
5. Angry retort directed at a close buddy.
6. A person who is made to adopt a submissive role in a relationship.
7. A complaint.
8. A difficult or confounding problem.
9. A queen, particularly in the card game of spades or hearts.

Wow. I love the word confounding. Anyway, how awesome is it that one word has such a wide range of meanings?

It even has acronyms!!

1. Babe In Total Control of Herself.
2. Beautiful Intelligent Talented Creative Honest
3. Beautiful Individual That Causes Hardons

Teehee! Bitch has cartoons, phrases, songs, magazines, WINE! (Thanks, Tami, my wine bitch.) No one can argue that it’s impressive to be a bitch. Probably one of the more impressive words out there..and so versatile! Ok…so back to being a bitch.

Now, it takes effort to be a real bitch. It takes Chutzpah. That was for my Jewish bitches. First and most importantly, you need to NOT care what other people think. However, there is a delicate balance. You don’t want to slip from being a bitch to being a cruel bitch. Or maybe you do. If you want to be cruel then more power to you. But be prepared to get your ass kicked one day by a bigger, badder bitch.

I am not a cruel or heartless bitch. I never intentionally hurt others. I am not cold hearted. I don’t expect to be regaled like a queen. I don’t treat people like shit. I know many of these women and I can’t stand them, much less the poor sapless men they are hitched to. But, alas, some men seem to enjoy a nasty bitch. I wonder why that is?

Sheesh…I am certainly getting side tracked on my whole bitchcapade.

I like to think of myself as a bitch with style, a bitch with class. Maybe I’m wrong but maybe I’m right. I am almost 42 and see no signs of changing who I am. I speak my mind, I speak it well, I don’t put up with shit and I’m raising a woman who will hopefully be the same way.

As little girls we were taught that we were made of ‘sugar and spice and everything nice’. This is true. Sugar. AND SPICE! Spice! We always forget the spice! Damn it! Save sugar for those PMS days. Save everything nice for you. It’s the spice that needs to appear when the situation calls for it, whether it’s at home, work, or just life, in general. Women do not need to be doormats. Ever. As adult women, why don’t we change the singsong nursery rhyme to something more fitting our bitchiness? I prefer ‘sugar and spice, if you want to mess with me you better think twice.’

I think every woman should seek out the bitch in themselves….just not the wicked bitch. I am a bitch, people, and that’s not a bad thing.



  1. That last picture, ha ha! Nice.

    Here's to Bitches everywhere! (the really awesome, cool us!)
    Here's to Never being a doormat, Never lying (see what I did there?) down for Anything, believing in ourselves and what we do, Who we are!

    *bitch slap* (instead of high five...yeah, if you have to explain it, so not funny...hmph)

  2. I like your posative spin on being a bitch! I'm gonna have to link to this blog next time I mention my being a bitch in mine :) Which happens a lot............