February 17, 2010

Opinionation

For those who don’t already know, I’ll admit it again; I am a reality show geek. Total uber geek. Super addict. I realize how ridiculous it is and yet I continue to fill my Season Pass with reality shows. I either need counseling...or more Tivos.

That being said, it’s now time for me to welcome you to my 'Opinionation'!

::::applause::::

Last night I watched the latest episode of The Bachelor. First of all, I think the bachelor is gay. I think he needs to wipe his tears, put a shirt on and walk out of the closet. I also think he is super unattractive. Sorry women who like girly blonde men, that's my opinion. I can't help but wonder why no one has questioned the ‘Fantasy Suite’ stage of that show? The bachelor has the opportunity to stay as a couple with 3 different women, on 3 different nights. Does he have sex with each of these women? Do the women not know he has just gotten busy with another contestant in the Fantasy Suite down the hall? Ewww….




















Also, and this makes me laugh, at the rose ceremony, I love how he says ‘I’m in love with all three of you.’ Umm…’scuse me? If I were contestant #2, and the bach said that, I’d let him keep his rose. Psh! I'd pick up the hem of my JC Penney prom dress and walk out. Will the poor ‘winner’ go through the rest of her life wondering if he still loves the others? Like would be a better word choice here, Jakey. Like. Better yet, just stop speaking. You truly make it seem like I’m watching ‘The Bachelorette’.

The Amazing Race had its 1st episode on Sunday. I love that show. I wish I could race around the country, miss all the sights and win a million dollars. Sigh. Seriously, though, I love this show. I really can’t tell what they were trying to do with the cast this year. There was an odd mixture of pseudo celebs & regular Joe’s. Jeff & Jordan from Big Brother are racing. Jordan already won BB. Doesn't she have enough money in her trailer? Anyway, I’m not sure she is bright enough to finish. They needed to fly to Chile and she told the ticket agent China. Der. She's going to get lost.

‘Such As’ is on with her boyfriend. Anyone remember ‘Such As’?






Oy. Hopefully they don’t send her to The Iraq.

There are a few other psuedos like the professional bull riders and the Phillies coach. Then you have a handful of normal people like the lesbians and the gay brothers. Love it. My favorite part of that show is Phil…and the Travelocity gnome.
















Another one of my favs is Survivor. This is the 20th season. Wow. I can’t believe I’ve been watching this show for that long. Holy crap. Anyway, this season is Heroes vs. Villains. My fav hippie love bug, Rupert, is back. So is Eye Candy Colby and Gravedigger James. Then the douches are back. Zen dragon freak Coach, scary hairy Jerri, and buy a tooth Russell.

The best part of the 1st episode was during a challenge when this chick pulled off Sugars bikini top. Sugar, gotta love her, ran back to the finish line and double flipped the chick off in all her topless glory. Sigh. I’m so glad that show is back on. If I weren’t a Diabetic, I would totally sign up. If you are interested, they are having a casting call right now. Are you a Survivor? Damn. That would be fantastic!

Last, because I’m only going to talk about 4 shows, is Project Runway. I still want to be best friends with Heidi Klum. A. Because we are both German and B. because she is hysterical! I love her. Hey, Heid, call me. :)

My favorite designer is Anthony and not because of his clothing. He is just this fabu little Southern gay man who I love from bottom to top. He makes me laugh. I cannot stand the dinosaur Mila. She is younger than me yet looks like she could have birthed me.






As far as designs, I don’t really have a favorite. I find myself leaning mostly towards Seth Aaron. My second leaning is to dinosaur Mila’s doppelganger. I don’t know her name.

While I am a reality show addict, there are shows that I refuse REFUSE to watch. For example, Toddlers & Tiaras. Oh. My. Gawd. Any parent that spray tans, glitters & teeth whitens their 5 year old child needs to be put in an institution. Stop living through your child, fatty! Also, I will not watch Jersey Shore. I grew up around orange, gold wearing, dumb, drunken whores. Why would I want to watch them on TV?
















Anyway. Yes, folks, this is how I spend my free time. With Tivo and my reality shows. Maybe someday I’ll have a life.

*Peace.

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