December 14, 2009

Sick of Pricks

My friend, Matty, is an acupuncturist. One of the great things about his career choice is that is we can talk about him pricking people. Since I have the mind of a pervy 13 year old, it always makes me laugh when he says something like ‘They are being pricked right now!’ Anyway, I totally should have made an appointment to have him prick me when I was in NY. Yes. I always giggle, it never fails! (teehee)

Amanda makes me laugh, too. Ever since she was a little girl, whenever something was pricking her she would comment in a very loud voice “MOM! A THORN IS PRICKING ME” I am not sure if she thought she was Briar Rose or if she lived in a rose bush in a past life but there aren’t really thorns lying around my living room or back yard. Worst case scenario, it would be a little stick or piece of grass or something. Never a thorn. Now that she is older, she will remove the offending ‘thorn’, shove it in my face and still announce that she was pricked by a thorn. Yes. I giggle. (teehee)

These are the pricks that make me laugh. In fact, Matty & Amanda are the only prickers I am NOT sick of. Here is a list of pricks that I AM sick of:

• The fingertip prick so I can check my blood.
• The body prick to insert my insulin pump every 3 days.
• The body prick to insert my CGM every 7 days.
• The vein prick from having blood drawn every 3 months.
• The periodontal probe prick the dentist uses to measure pockets every 3 months. (Which hurt like a mofo!)
• The pricks I have an affinity for dating…or marrying, as it were.
• The pricks I have an affinity for befriending.
• The pricks that surround me…and not by choice. Vegas may be the prick capital.

Here’s something else. A local brothel owner hopes to have Nevada’s first male prostitutes. Legally, that is. My question is…do women really need to pay for sex? I thought we were the deciding factor in the ‘to prick or not to prick’ scenario? I mean, I am pretty confident that I can walk out onto the street right now & find a man to have sex with in 30 minutes or less. Women are more picky with whom they share their love juices with. No offense to the men. I’m just saying, it’s easier for a woman to get pricked than a man. Most men are always ready to throw down..or go down.. or get down & dirty. I’m curious as to how well the ‘Prick-Fil-A’ will do. Yes. If it was my stud farm I’d name it ‘Prick-Fil-A’. (teehee)

I’m going to (teehee) the crap out of this blog.
At least until you call me a prick.

Speaking of, how many times in a week do you wish you could call someone a prick? I mean, rightfully so. I think if you are acting like a prick, you should graciously accept being called a prick and carry on. But, noooooo. If you act like a prick & someone calls you such, you get all mad and even prickier. That’s just not right. If you are going to be a prick, own it. Even if you don’t think you are being a prick, obviously the other person does. Since everyone has a right to feel what they feel, you should still own it. Right? Right. No teehee here because I’m not joking. This is serious prick business.

Ooooh! Maybe Amanda was Brer Rabbit in a past life! Yes…we are on our way to Disneyland. Yay! I cannot WAIT to get out of this town for 3.5 days of fun. Oh, and I’ll take a picture of her getting pricked by a thorn for you. (teehee)

And I'll take pictures of Disney pricks. I'm sure there will be some.


No comments:

Post a Comment