December 29, 2009

Farewell 2009

Well, it's that time. Another year of my life has dwindled away. I am getting Too fast, actually. Sheesh. I remember being a teen when time would crawl by and I was DYING to grow up. Now I barely remember I'm a grown up, time is flying by & I'm DYING. Oy! haha!

Who can believe we are ending a decade? A decade! Holy shit! Forget another year dwindling away, an entire decade has dwindled! I am sitting here pondering what I have done since Y2K, where have I been, who have I become, etcetera, etcetera. It's a very odd and sobering thing to do on some level. On another, it's a very magnificent and joyous thing.

I was 31 at the turn of the century & Amanda was 5.

Whoa...hold up..I need a moment to reflect......sigh.

Oops! Wrong picture.

Here's the right one.....sigh. ;)

Teehee! I said 'turn of the century'.


Here's my decade in a very small paragraphical nutshell:

I fell in love, fell in hate, got fired, got hired 3x, bought a house, was given a car, started writing again, quit smoking, went from skinny to fluffy, lost my mom, found my true friends, surfed, skydived, kissed the Blarney Stone, hiked Mt. Vesuvius, travelled 10 countries, became healthier and stronger, was a fabulous mother and friend..still am, I might add..., made new friends, reconnected with old friends, lost friends that didn't matter, almost died, learned how to live, changed for the better, kept my heart & soul the same, learned many lessons, made more mistakes, learned to forgive, learned to let go, realized true love is forever, learned it's ok to be selfish and proud of myself, learned it's ok to ask for help, learned it's ok to be scared, sad, lonely and weak, learned it's ok to be smart, strong, honest and real, went home to be loved and was, laughed, cried, dreamed, wished, hoped and realized that I am a good person. Most importantly, I gave it my all. Life. I live it. Fully. And I always will.

There is much more, but like I said, in a nutshell.

I am very excited to see what the next decade has in store for me because I know it will be wonderful. I know in my heart of hearts all the amazing things that are going to happen to me. I can't tell you now though. I don't want to jinx myself. But, stick around for another 10 years and I'll tell you everything!

I never make resolutions and I always eat blackeyed peas on New Years Day. This year I think I'm going to pass on the peas and go straight for the resolutions. But, for the sake of luck, here are some blackeyed peas.

My resolutions are, as follows, and I quote:

Join the gym...again...& try to get back in shape. Although round is a shape, I'd rather be a different one. I will take heed of my diabetes & knees while at the gym though. Unlike last time. Ouch.

Do not enter into one way relationships of any kind. Continue to realize that I am worth so much more than that. These type of relationships also take valuable time away from those that deserve my attention. I am a giver so I need to remember to give to the ones that give back.

Start my damn book. Get it out of my head and onto some paper. I'd prefer getting it onto a laptop while lazing on my couch in pj's but a laptop is not currently in the budget. Anyway, stop talking about starting my damn book and just start it.

Remember what is important. I tend to focus too much on the insignifant and I'm not entirely sure why. This resolution should be in the number one position but since I didn't number them, I guess I am ok.

Eat less carbs, drink significantly less wine, complain less and continue to live happily.

Hmmm...I think that's it. I don't want to stress myself out with too much responsibility. Gawd...the pressure!

In closing, I wanted to thank my family and my friends for making a wonderful life even more precious. Remember, no man is a failure who has friends. ;) Hope 2010 will bring you nothing but sheer delight.

In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want. ~Irish Toast toast. I'm hungry.


December 14, 2009

Sick of Pricks

My friend, Matty, is an acupuncturist. One of the great things about his career choice is that is we can talk about him pricking people. Since I have the mind of a pervy 13 year old, it always makes me laugh when he says something like ‘They are being pricked right now!’ Anyway, I totally should have made an appointment to have him prick me when I was in NY. Yes. I always giggle, it never fails! (teehee)

Amanda makes me laugh, too. Ever since she was a little girl, whenever something was pricking her she would comment in a very loud voice “MOM! A THORN IS PRICKING ME” I am not sure if she thought she was Briar Rose or if she lived in a rose bush in a past life but there aren’t really thorns lying around my living room or back yard. Worst case scenario, it would be a little stick or piece of grass or something. Never a thorn. Now that she is older, she will remove the offending ‘thorn’, shove it in my face and still announce that she was pricked by a thorn. Yes. I giggle. (teehee)

These are the pricks that make me laugh. In fact, Matty & Amanda are the only prickers I am NOT sick of. Here is a list of pricks that I AM sick of:

• The fingertip prick so I can check my blood.
• The body prick to insert my insulin pump every 3 days.
• The body prick to insert my CGM every 7 days.
• The vein prick from having blood drawn every 3 months.
• The periodontal probe prick the dentist uses to measure pockets every 3 months. (Which hurt like a mofo!)
• The pricks I have an affinity for dating…or marrying, as it were.
• The pricks I have an affinity for befriending.
• The pricks that surround me…and not by choice. Vegas may be the prick capital.

Here’s something else. A local brothel owner hopes to have Nevada’s first male prostitutes. Legally, that is. My question is…do women really need to pay for sex? I thought we were the deciding factor in the ‘to prick or not to prick’ scenario? I mean, I am pretty confident that I can walk out onto the street right now & find a man to have sex with in 30 minutes or less. Women are more picky with whom they share their love juices with. No offense to the men. I’m just saying, it’s easier for a woman to get pricked than a man. Most men are always ready to throw down..or go down.. or get down & dirty. I’m curious as to how well the ‘Prick-Fil-A’ will do. Yes. If it was my stud farm I’d name it ‘Prick-Fil-A’. (teehee)

I’m going to (teehee) the crap out of this blog.
At least until you call me a prick.

Speaking of, how many times in a week do you wish you could call someone a prick? I mean, rightfully so. I think if you are acting like a prick, you should graciously accept being called a prick and carry on. But, noooooo. If you act like a prick & someone calls you such, you get all mad and even prickier. That’s just not right. If you are going to be a prick, own it. Even if you don’t think you are being a prick, obviously the other person does. Since everyone has a right to feel what they feel, you should still own it. Right? Right. No teehee here because I’m not joking. This is serious prick business.

Ooooh! Maybe Amanda was Brer Rabbit in a past life! Yes…we are on our way to Disneyland. Yay! I cannot WAIT to get out of this town for 3.5 days of fun. Oh, and I’ll take a picture of her getting pricked by a thorn for you. (teehee)

And I'll take pictures of Disney pricks. I'm sure there will be some.


December 1, 2009


I did not wake up happy. Amanda was loud and the cats were noisy at 4:30am. Yes…that’s what I said…4:30am. I was super tired from having crazy dreams all night. I had to drop Amanda off at the bus stop because she was late. This in turn, made me late. I hurt my knee doing morning stretches. I couldn’t decide on an outfit to wear. Today is my interview and I don’t know what to say. I had to call & fight with my insurance company this morning which is never something positive. My blood sugar is on the low side. I had to drive 30 minutes head on into the blaring sun. There was a line at Starbuck’s. AND I have to work all day. Sigh…not a good start.

In my feeble attempt at spirit lifting, I tried to engage my mind with ridiculous things. Like..the face I make when I hit a shady spot while driving towards the sun. I spend most of my drive squinting & furrowing my brow…even with my sunglass on. So, on those rare moments that I do hit shade, I open my eyes & mouth really wide to stretch my face, like this:

Pretty, huh?

Then there are fantastic websites like ‘11,002 things to be miserable about’. I really need this book. I’m not even sure why I don’t have it since I’ve seen it at Barnes & Nobles 100 times and it’s only like $8. Anyway, since it's not on my bookshelf collecting cat hair, I signed up for their ‘Miserable Fact of the Day’ email. Good stuff. I can’t wait for tomorrow.

Something else that makes me smile is ‘Douche Patrol’. My friend, Crystal, and I are the founders of the ‘Douche Patrol’. Crystal, aka Calpumper , is my Twitter diabetic friend. She makes me laugh AND is a New Yorker. How fantastic is that!?! Crystal is also a blogger. Go ahead and check out ‘Randomly Capitalized’. I won't get jealous.

Hmm...maybe I am a douchebag today. Maybe.

Another thing that was pretty funny today was my ‘Captcha’ totally matched my life. Today is December 1st and I decided that I would post 25 days of Christmas Songs on my Facebook page. Each day, a new, jolly, ditty for all to enjoy. For whatever reason, ‘Captcha’ popped up before I could post the link. The secret I am not a bot code was ‘Knee Tend’. Huh. Funny how I hurt my knee this morning..not funny haha, funny weird. I wonder if ‘Captcha’ has secret mind powers. I wonder if I should tend to my knee.

Wow….I just went to check my voicemail and all my saved messages are no longer there. They have disappeared. This does not make me happy. At all. Emailing Sprint now because Jaysus Effing Cripes!!! I save special voicemails simply because they make my heart happy. Whether it’s a friend in NY telling me she misses me, another friend’s laughter & love, my dad saying I’m silly and I make him laugh, or just little messages that, on days like today, bring a smile to my face. Now…they are all gone. Gone! Gone!! Arghhhh!! ::pant pant pant::: I feel like this:

Ok, well, that’s it. I’m just going to stay in my mood today. Gawd help the little people.

By the way, does anyone want a cat? Or four? I'll even throw in the laser for hours of entertainment.