October 29, 2009

Eat, Drink & Be Scary.

My favorite month has slipped by so quickly that I’m left dazed and confused. October, oh, how I love thee. I am sorry I didn’t pay more homage to you. Your crunchy, brightly colored leaves, caramel apples, crisp air, pumpkin scented candles, hot cider, corn mazes, candy corn, black & orange M&M’s, sweaters, boots, Oktoberfest!! October, you rock my Woodstock tie dyed socks.

Halloween is right around the corner. This makes me pretty excited because I love trick or treaters. I do. I don’t love the obnoxious teenagers, I love the little kids. They are so adorable in their costumes! Most of them aren’t really sure what the whole Halloween dealio is, they just know it means free candy and that is awesome. The problem I seem to have is that I run out of candy too quickly because I feel like I have to give the cute little ones a bunch of candy. The cuter you are, the more candy you get. Yea…it’s like that.

There are several great things about Halloween outside of the free candy. Like, ‘It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.’ What is not fantastic about watching that on a Tuesday night? Nothing. I love Charlie’s costume. I love that he gets rocks. Which reminds me, what is the weirdest thing you have ever gotten while trick or treating? I remember this one house on my road would always give change. Never like silver dollars, always nickels and pennies with an occasional dime. A few years ago, Amanda came home with direct marketing leaflets and I thought this was pretty strange. Why would I buy a house from someone or hire a maid who couldn’t give my kid candy on Halloween? Nah….I’ll pass, thanks, now give me a damn Mounds! Haha!

Another great thing about Halloween is that you can dress up like whom or whatever you want. Most women choose any type slutty costume such as pirates or nurses and most men choose athletes or superheroes. Either way, I think it is fun and there is nothing wrong with fun. The best is when you run across a super clever or hysterically funny costume.

My friend, Bill, always likes to dress as a woman. His Hooter girl costume was hysterical. But, wait…he seems to dress up like a woman every year. Last year he was Pamela Anderson, this year he is going to be Tinkerballs. Should I be concerned?

13 Days of Halloween is pretty fabu, too. ABC Family runs some pretty great Halloween movies October 19-31. Movies such as Hocus Pocus, which is a fantastic movie, Beetlejuice, Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride, Amityville Horror, Silence of the Lambs, Carrie, Shaun of the Dead. Really great movies!! Plus, you can always count on 24 hours of Halloween on the 31st. TV shows also have their holiday episodes in full force, even game shows hop on the Halloween band wagon. It’s a nice change of pace from the daily grind.

Lastly, Halloween decorations are pretty awesome. It’s the only time of year that gore is accepted. Gross rats, body parts, blood, guts, dead guys, zombies, monsters, OH MY! There is magic, mischief and mystical enchantment in the air.

Speaking of mischief, Friendship Blog Love time! Wooooo!

Dear Herman,

Thank you for stalking me and making me be your friend. How long have we been friends? Thank you for being my lunch date and for playing Family Feud. Thank you for not letting me kill you. Thank you for taking control of me when I had lost control of me. Thank you for being my pseudo husband. Thank you for being my sibling in a past life. Thank you for Disney. Thank you for San Diego. Thank you for Thanksgiving. Thank you for letting me borrow your parents. Thank you for saying ‘have a nice day, dear’. Thank you for trying to understand even when you don’t. Thank you for being my daughter’s godfather. ‘Leave the gun, take the cannoli..’ Thank you for celebrating Christmas even though you are Jewish. Thank you for making fun of people with me. Thank you for being stupid and allowing me to be stupid. Thank you for correcting me when I cannot pronounce a word. Thank you for watching the hair mongrels that live in my house when I’m away. Thank you for being a friend stealer so I have something to yell about. Thank you for being my best friend and my family in Vegas. Thank you for being Sporty Spice. My world is a much happier and more fun place with you in it. Love, love.

Happy Haunting, everyone!


October 22, 2009

Kreativ Blogger

Wow! I am now the proud recipient of the coveted ‘Kreativ Blogger’ award. My Zilla over at Nearlyweds nominated me and I am honored. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined that this would happen to me. :::lackluster applause::: There are SO many people I’d like to thank! But, I will spare you and choose only 3. First, I’d like to thank Jennifer for the nomination. My cup runneth over, Jennifer! Second, I’d like to thank Blogger for allowing me free access to post my ramblings. And, finally, to everyone who dares to read my nonsense. Without you, I’d…still be writing….in my journal…at home…alone…with wine…and my cat. I couldn’t have done it without you! Thank you, America!! Good night.

I’ve always wanted to give an award speech. So, to continue in the spirit of the award, I am going to write 7-10 facts about me…I choose only 7. Then I will pass the “Kreativ Blogger’ award to..let’s do 7 again..other fabu bloggers in need of a jpeg and recognition!! Here we go. Wooo!

Facts, facts, facts……hmmmm…

1. I have no interests. This does not mean I am uninteresting, this just means I am uninterested. Nothing seems to grab my attention and tickle my fancy. Some people wrap their life around hobbies like skiing, working out, kabbalah, sports, knitting, taming wild animals ….me? Nothing. I like doing things and will try everything at least once but nothing inspires me to stay. Huh. Sounds like my dating life. Ba dum chhhhh…

2. I am easy to please. It doesn’t take much to make me smile. Trouble is that most people do not try at all. A random text or funny video, being dorky with me, hugs, bubbles, laughing, warm socks…simple, easy, wonderful things.

3. I hate long nails. I don’t like fake nails either. I think they are ooky looking even if you paint them &/or draw little paint flowers on them. It makes me think of when you die. Everyone knows when you die your hair & nails keep growing. I guess that’s why I don’t like super long hair either. Blah. Cut your nails and your hair, please. You look dead. Xp

3. I am addicted to Chapstick. I seriously have a tube everywhere. They are in my purse, in my car, next to my bed, on my coffee table, in my desk, in the kitchen. My. Lips. Can’t. Live. Without. Chapstick. They can live without the Vanilla Mint kind though. Bleck.

4. I want someone to take care of me. I have taken care of myself my entire life. Seriously. My entire life. I also have taken care of everyone else…my entire life. Now I am tired and wish someone would take care of me.

5. I don’t like my career path. It wasn’t a chosen one; I just sort of fell into it, as it were. I’m good at it, don’t get me wrong, it’s just not my dream. If I weren’t a diabetic, I would open a quaint little bookshop somewhere fabu and commit to writing my own novels. But, since I need health benefits, and have become a slave to money, I work doing something I don’t like.

6. I dropped out of college. I had planned on becoming a lawyer. Go figure. I’m sure I could have used my services 100 times by now!! Psh. One year of law and I was done! *yawn* I will go back and get my degree before I die. Haha! Just…not in law…probably in journalism or English. Something I find creatively entertaining. This is a promise I made to myself and so it shall be done.

7. 7, 7, 7…ummm….I have a beauty mark on my left forearm and I have always hated it. Now that I’m in my 40’s, I deal with it but still don’t like it. It’s the first thing I notice when I see it in a picture and I roll my eyes wondering why I let it show. I also broke that arm so I have lovely scars to add to its beauty. Psh.

Ding dang, that was difficult.

Now my lucky 7 award winning recipients!!

1. Kerri at Six Until Me

2. Jenny at Lets have a Cocktail

3. Cary at List of the Day

4. Amber at Everybody’s Working for the Weekend

5. Lee Ann at The Butter Compartment

6. Crystal at PUMPed UP

7. Chris at A Consequence of Hypoglycemia

Thanks for your endless entertainment, bloggers! You are the best of the best, I say. :) Please, enjoy your award.


October 20, 2009

Only Love.

I am a single woman. I know, shocker. Me?! There’s no way!! *gasp*

I can hear what you are thinking right now…’She must be doing something wrong.’

To me, what is shocking are the ideals that people have about my relationship status. I seriously have a purse full of reasons that have been tossed my way. Reasons that have led friends, family & strangers to their conclusion as to why I am alone. Sometimes they are hysterical, sometimes accurate, sometimes offensive, and sometimes hurtful. Always unnecessary.

Here are a few of the most popular ones: I have no desire to be in a relationship. I am too independent. I am too picky. I am non-committal. I am not looking. I am not trying hard enough. I’m afraid of letting people in. I have walls. Oh, trust me. The list goes on…and on….and on. In fact, there really isn’t an ideology or reason I haven’t heard.

My favorite misconception is that I don’t know anything about love because I am single. This is not as surprising as I think it should be. When I find myself in what I like to call my ‘Eleanor Rigby’ mode, I question my ability to love and ask what is wrong with me. I accuse myself of being horrible at relationships and being scared. So…why shouldn’t others? I sometimes wonder if I truly know what it is like to be in love and to love….and then I remember. Not only do I love with my entire being a few treasured people in this world, but I have also loved in the greatest of ways. And I am not finished loving….not by a long shot.

I have had three major loves in my life. Three. By life’s standards, I am truly a lucky woman.

I have had a ‘First Love’. To this day, that sweet, innocent, playful, camaraderie goes untouched. When we see each other, we revert back to high school when life was simple, there weren’t any responsibilities, the laughter was quick, the teasing was playful and the loving was easy. It's comfortable, warm...and nice.

I have had a ‘Lost Love’. That soul crashing, absolute surrendering, unconditional love that takes your breath away and….I let it go. I was scared, I was broken, I wasn’t the person I needed to be or the person that he deserved. When we see each other, it’s as if neither a moment in time nor the feelings in our hearts have lapsed. But, it is lost. Everyone has regrets. Losing him is mine.

I have had an ‘Unrequited Love’. The most passionate, overwhelming and painful of all loves. Three years of togetherness was ended with an ‘I don’t love you back.’ Ouch. Fucker. When I see him, I flee…I run….I hide in the vegetable section of Costco and cry on the phone to my friend. Eight years later and this man still effects me. My first real heartbreak. My first real love karma running over my dogma.

So, yes, I have loved more deeply and more strongly than most. Never make the mistake of thinking that I haven’t. I still love and I am certain I will again. I am merely waiting for the person who deserves all the wonderful things that I am. I am waiting for the ‘Grand Love’ to end my story.

The one thing I won’t do is sell myself short and settle for less in an attempt to make others, or myself, feel comfortable with my status. I refuse to fall in love with love. At this point in my life, I look inside to find what I need and it’s working. My life is full and happy. I may be single but I am loved by at least 2 of my 3 great loves and they will love me forever; of this I have no doubt. Not many people have that luxury.

Bottom line is I am single for many reasons, none of which are negative. The ‘sad, lonely, doing something wrong, single woman’ stereotype isn’t necessarily true. Everyone, even married people, feel sad or lonely. Guess what? We are human, we feel, such is life.

Embrace what you are, whether you are single or married AND embrace everyone’s option to be what they are, too. Just because we check off different boxes on surveys and forms, doesn’t mean we are worlds apart. After all, the winds of change are always blowing…..

“There are four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.” ~Don Juan deMarco


October 15, 2009

Life's Not Fair

I’ve been saying that a lot recently. As if I’ve reverted back to a 5 year old who wasn’t allowed to grab a cookie from the cookie jar.

I’ve been behaving like a spoiled child who cannot have what she so desperately wants. Have you ever felt like that? Wanting something so madly and deeply but knowing damn well that it will never happen? It truly sucks and makes me want to scream.

I repeat, life is not fair. And yes, that is me throwing a fit. Apparently, this happens a lot. haha!

If you look and really want to see, you will find unfairness all around. Your friend has a chronic disease, but there’s a smoker who is destroying his healthy body. You work hard every day but don’t get the promotion, raise or respect you deserve. You love someone completely only to find out they do not love you in return. You lost something or someone so precious that you aren’t sure how you will ever survive.

Yea, life certainly throws us some curveballs but what can you do? Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. It’s all around you, the unfairness. It’s everywhere.

“Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.” ~Oscar Wilde.

So, what can you do? Well, you can sit around and do nothing, of course. That’s easy. You can be sad, bitter, angry and frustrated. That’s fun. You can feel hopeless and helpless and contemplate the impossibility. That’s pathetic. Or…you can accept what is and find a way to make it fair. Or….you can change your thought process and know that everything will be ok. Or…you can learn and grow into something more wonderful than you already are.

Things you can do when life is unfair:

*Allow it to allow you to learn from your mistakes, live for the moment, love to the fullest and appreciate the quality of those you have in your life.

*Allow it to let you see the humor in life, the greatness and the adventure.

*Allow it to motivate you to do something bigger, right a wrong or be proactive.

*Allow it to help you to deal with pain, accept what is and appreciate what you have.

*Allow it to have you experience new things, push yourself to a new limit or learn to let it go.

Here’s another quote for you:

‘Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.’ ~Dalai Lama.

Again, that Dalai knows his shiz. Wouldn’t it have been grand to be his friend? I think so. :)

I am not a person who deals well with sadness. I’m not. I know no one likes being sad but it literally goes against all that I am. I am rarely sad but when I am, it’s like an implosion. In this moment, right now, I am sad.

I let the sadness have it's way for a week. I let it take control. I know that I can’t have what I want, at least, not right now. In fact, it may be that I can never have what I want. It also may be that one day I will. Who truly knows what life has in store for any of us?

So, instead of being mopey over it, I am going to try to focus on the things that I do have. I will allow the unfairness to allow me to appreciate what is fair in my life…and what is wonderfully & truly amazing. Perhaps you should, too. We can do it together. Because even in life's darkest moments, there is light.