August 4, 2009


I am a big ass loser. Not because I went to a public pool on a Sunday, no. Because my forearm is sore from spraying suntan lotion. I am not kidding. I bought the spray kind, SPF 50 and doused 2 teen girls and myself. Apparently this action was way too much for my body to handle. Not only do I have a sunburn…my forearm hurts. I that pathetic that this small feat has stressed my muscles? I seriously need to be shot. Someone needs to do it for me though because I don’t want to be sore from over exertion.

Public pools are foul. Everyone knows this. Whether it’s the uber hairy Chewbacca guy or the 100 kids peeing as soon as they jump in, it’s a nasty place. The only good thing about a public pool is that no matter how much weight you have gained, how much cellulite you have or how obscenely white you are….there is always, always someone who looks worse than you. I walked my fat, cottage cheesy, white ass away feeling like a freaking beauty queen. It was a good day….especially when Amanda & her friend were yelling ‘Polo’ and they weren’t even in on the game.

Random thought of the day: When is the last time someone tried calling 867-5309?

I am on vacation next week and already every moment is packed with chores. I think it’s sad that I have to take time off to get things done. Vacay starts off with a massage though. I need to do a couple of fabu things whilst on break. Come on! We are also going out for sushi. Then the work begins…..I need to clean house from top to bottom for Amanda’s birthday party. I need to start my diet. I need to renew my license. I need to get Amanda a health card. I need to take Amanda school shopping. We need to get our hairs did. We are selling crap on eBay so need to take pictures and list them. This will be my first time selling anything. I’m sure it will be an adventure. I am ending the vacation with The Lion King. So, it will start with delicious joy and end with delicious entertainment. I guess I should stop complaining. At least I won't be at work.

I’m already tired though. WTF? I guess my real vacation will be in October when I go to NY and do nothing but love on my family and friends. Oh – and happy birthday to my new cousin, Lila Elizabeth. She was welcomed into the world today at 2:30am. Mom and Lila are fine, even with a slight name confusion moment. I was told the baby was named ‘Liza Marie’ when in fact that isn’t her name at all! Haha! These are the things that make my family awesome. Anyway, I am so thrilled to meet Lila in a couple of months.

***Update: Her real name is Lyla Reidys!!! Rawr family!! hahaha!

I have a question. Aren’t high school coaches supposed to ‘coach’ kids and help them learn the game & techniques required to be successful at a sport? Or are they just there to make everyone feel bad about themselves? First of all, I understand that coaches seldom teach ‘real’ classes such as English & History. Coaches typically teach study hall and shop. So, I get that they aren’t the brightest bulb on the tree. However, if you sign up to be a coach, I would hope you understand the job description. Coach. Not expect perfection and when that level isn’t reached say ‘You need all the help you can get so you better get it.’ Are you kidding me? Coach – to give instruction, to train, to direct, to teach. Your only task in life is to help my daughter learn how to play tennis and play fairly well based on her ability. Your job isn’t to make her feel like shit because then she won’t want to do her best. I don’t understand. I guess this is why I’m not a coach because I would give everyone a chance to be the best they could be AND I would do everything I could to make sure they get the education they deserve.

Yes. I’d be the soccer mom out on the field punching someone in the face for not letting the one legged kid play just so they could win. Stupid sports. Anyone want to teach my daughter how to play tennis?

To lighten my mood…here is the latest commercial that made me laugh. Enjoy.



  1. This is hysterical!!! You *ALWYAS* make me laugh, my dear friend! Congrats on your new little cousin! xo Happy almost birthday to Amanda. At least you WENT to the pool. Ewww. All of those screaming kids - pass. I miss my own pool in So Cal. I miss having a house! Re: your sore muscle - I broke my toe almost 4 mos ago, and I still have a *gross* black blood a little smaller than a dime on my right pinky toe - it will remain there until the end of time, or until my toe falls off. I chose to keep it hidden (out of sight/out of mind). There is no way I'm doing anything with it! I'll stop there... I will just have to wear flip-flop-type shoes forever... Miss you! Thanks for blogging and brightening my day!! xoxo

  2. ~ Donna :)

    (would only accept my comment if I was anonymous!)

  3. Ha, Zappo's denied my affiliate application.