July 2, 2009

Sleepless in Las Vegas

January 30, 2007

Could I get fired if I fall asleep at work? No. Seriously. I mean literally laying my head on the desk and grabbing a few z's. I don't think I can stay awake for...4.5 more hours. I need to make a Starbucks run and double up on the espresso shots.
Cats are the devil. I've said this before, I'll say it again. I was seriously considering getting rid of my felines this morning. They are the reason I am so tired. The first half of the night was spent scaring off neighborhood cats from my yard. They sit outside my sliding glass door, peer in at my cats and wail.

I'm not sure why they just don't come in through the kitty door. Stupid cats. The second half of the night was spent yelling at my cats for fighting with each other. What the hell? The devil, I say.

Did you know that women say about 7,000 words a day versus men saying 2,000 a day? I think I used to be a man. Really. There is no way I talk that much. Amanda and George - yes. Me - no. Maybe in my head, or in writing but definitely not out loud.

While on the subject of talking, do you have that one person in the gym that doesn't shut the hell up? I do. She's an old lady so I feel like I have to be nice to her. Why is that? Is it that whole respect your elder’s thing? Because, that's just crap! This woman talks to everyone. Even when you ignore her....she continues to yammer. I'm in Pilate’s class last night, stretching and warming up, waiting for class to begin. This gem walks in talking and sits next to me. She insists on talking until the music starts. As soon as the class ended, she picked up right where she left off! She's old!! How can she remember what she was frigging talking about??!!

So, do you think its right for ex-spouses to be in your house when you aren't at home? Even if your child is there? I don't. Not at all. But, I'm wondering if this is just because I'm a bitch. Is it?

There are a few women on the news who drive me nuts. One, in particular, is Sue Manteris. I watch Channel 3 news while I'm getting ready for work. I like crazy John Fredericks and his dog. Oh, Happy Birthday, Jordo! I like Mitch Truswell too. Anyway, first of all, Sue is an interrupting cow...Moo! She always cuts Mitch off. Plus, her eating habits do not interest me. Then there is Tricia Keen. First of all, she looks like a female Jay Leno. Second of all, leave the high maintenance attitude at home. You're only here to report the news, Sunshine. Here's one I like....Meredith Viera. She's great. All the other B-rated newswomen should aspire to be like Meredith.

Oh, I'm a cranky pants. I'm off to Starbucks.

Ok, I'm back. I can feel the caffeine coursing through my veins....ahhhh! LIFE'S ELIXIR!! So, a friend of mine was talking about making out yesterday. I miss that! I miss the passion and excitement of a make out session. I seriously need to hop back on the dating wagon. I've spent so much time focusing on the bad that I totally forgot about the good.

Also, what would you do if a member of the same sex hit on you? This being that you weren't interested in buttering your bread on that side.


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