July 2, 2009

Memorial Madness

Written June 2, 2009

Well, last weekend was super busy for me. It started on Thursday while on the way to work; part of my tooth fell out. I was headed to Starbucks when I spit out a chunk of metal. I am understandably freaked so I start poking around with my tongue. There it was..a huge gaping hole where my upper left molar used to be. Of course I start panicking because my greatest diabetic reality hell is that my teeth are falling out. That day it was just a temporary that was placed on my molar after a root canal. Great. I ran to the dentist. He told me my remaining tooth was cracked, therefore toast, and he ripped the sucker out. I cried like a baby all the way home. Total mental breakdown.

Then, with bloody gauze shoved in my piehole, puffy teary eyes and mental destruction feeding on my sadness, I drove to the Happiest Place on Earth. Yep. Disneyland. Bill, George, Amanda & I checked into our room..without a patio…and passed out.


Disney is always a great time, even with a toothless ache. It is pure entertainment for someone as random as myself. The first day was spent reacquainting ourselves with the park. We went on all our fav rides, made fun of all our fav things, ate all our fav snack food and stood in all our fav lines. While standing in the Toy Story line, I saw two girls about 10 singing and playing a hand game. Miss Lucy. Who remembers this game? I totally did and was catapulted back 30 years. Miss Lucy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, Miss Lucy went to heaven, the steamboat went to hell-o operator. Gawd! What a great game. You could actually swear while feeling naughty & good at the same time! I couldn’t believe this ditty was still around. Kinda fabu that it is. I’m sure Miss Lucy is very proud. Miss Mary Mack should be, too.

Then we headed over to California Adventure and while standing in the Tower of Terror line, Amanda starts drawing on my back. My goal in this game was to guess her picture. Who remembers this? The funniest thing about this game is not the picture or guessing. It’s the eraser. Why do we feel the need to take our hand and erase our invisible back drawing? This shit kills me. haha! Good times.

I also got into a fight at Disney. I thought Bill was going to have a heart attack because here I go again in total warrior mode. A. Don’t eff with me, even at the Happiest Place on Earth. B. My mouth hurt. C. I am a New Yorker. 'Nuff said. We just got off the Tower of Terror and we were laughing at our pics. We know when & where the photo is taken and always pose. It's part of our ritual. So, we get ½ down the block near Wall-E and this gangsta walks up. He confronts me with ‘Jew talkin bout ma picha?’ I turn around, lifted my sunglasses and said ‘Who the hell are you?’ He tries to be thug life and says I was making fun of his pic, blah blah, wah wah, I'm a big puss and I flipped out. I got in his face told him to get the eff away from me, I’m at Disneyland trying to have fun and he better step back because I don’t give a shit who he thinks he is. He totally backed down and says ‘Jus don't talk shit bout me!’ I said ‘I wasn’t but I will now.’ Psh. He ran over to his girlfriend who was waiting on the corner...ironic...and walked away. Douche had NO idea. He obviously chose the wrong person to attack. I’ll cut him.

Anyway, Disney was fab. Haha! We did spend one day at Six Flags and it wasn’t so fab. The rides were, but everything else sucked. We spent 1.5 hours waiting in line. Six Flags isn’t like Disney. They didn’t have fast passes, they had something close though. You could buy a ‘Fast Pass’ wannabe for $60 bucks. They gave you a beeper, you told them approximately when you wanted to go on a ride, they buzzed you during that time and you had to show up or lose your pass for that ride. Make sense? So…you tell Tatsu that you want to ride between 1p and 2p. You run over to Batman and tell them you want to ride between 2p-3p. Well, if Tatsu beeps you while you are eating, you finish and run over and hop on. Batman rings you and says come on over but you are face down on Tatsu. By the time you get to Batman, you missed your pass window and guess what? Too bad so sad for you. It’s crap. Tatsu wasn't though. Tatsu was amazing.

Six Flags was dirty, customer service sucked ass, you had two food options and both were way over priced. A piece of pizza for $8 or chicken tenders for $9. Totally not worth the rides as far as I’m concerned. The only thing I noticed at Six Flags was that alot of Mexican women either shave their eyebrows off and draw a line or pluck them down to a skinny line. I’m not Mexican, so I don’t understand this beauty treatment. Can anyone explain? There is a fine line on my eyebrow opinion. Too big and you look like bushmaster Brooke Shields, too thin and you look like a creepy cross dresser. Stay in the middle, ladies. Please.

We went back to Disney for the rest of the time. The difference between Disney and Six Flags is mind blowing. I choose Disney. Every time. I choose a ride attendant offering to hold my cawfee while I ride the Matterhorn over being left standing in a hot, sweaty line for 2 hours and never being told the ride was broken. We are once again Disney Annual Pass Holders. Yay.

Monday I had to show up for Jury Duty. Ironically, one of the jurors in front of me was named Mike Wazowski, like from Monsters, Inc. Hahaha! Stay tuned for Jury Duty enlightenment next week. Yes, it needs its very own blog.



1 comment:

  1. Rec'd June 2, 2009 from Jessica:

    I told you Tatsu was amazing!

    I agree though, I am totally Disney! I love me some coasters, but agree about Magic Mountain.

    Now that I am back in Texas, I will be checking out the two Six Flags here since it has been years and I will give you my comparison!