July 2, 2009

Kelly’s Complaints 101

January 9, 2007

Let's start this off on a positive note....people are stupid. Not good stupid as in they trip over their own feet and laugh and laugh. But bad stupid as in total and complete disregard for others.

As you all know, I am in the process of improving my home. There was nothing wrong with my home, but for some reason, Vegas life is completely revolved around whose is bigger and better. Since I don't have a bigger paycheck, bigger boobs or a bigger ego than most, I thought I'd better my home.

Anyway, one of the things I'm doing is installing granite counter tops. I chose the granite I wanted, chose the edging and paid. I thought I was done.....I was wrong. The slab lady called to set up an appointment so I can look at my slab and decide if I like it or not. Of course, I have to revolve around her schedule, even though I'm the one spending $4k. I tell her I can go today on my lunch, for which I only get 1/2 an hour. She says it won't take long, she'll meet me there at 1p. After getting lost due to poor directions, no signage & miles of walking around warehouses, I finally find the place. My lunch is over and slab bitch isn't there. I call & leave a message stating that I'm a little pissed. I then tell the group of illegal aliens that I'm not waiting for her and to show me the slab so I can get the hell out of there. The one that can speak English makes me walk another mile to the slab. He points mine out. I say "What am I looking at?" He says "To see if you like it." I said "Isn't this a natural stone?" He says "Yes." I say "So, if I don't like it, you can't make another one, correct?" He says "Yes." I say "I really don't understand this process." He says "If you don't like it, we can cut around the parts you don't like." I say "Leave it as nature intended and get my counters installed." Then, after getting back to work an hour late I get a call from slab bitch. Do you know what she has the audacity to say to me?? Mind you....I'm the girl with the anger management problem.....she says "I was only 10 minutes late." Bitch - you were still LATE! Late with a phone call is mildly acceptable even though I was on a time limit. Late with nothing means you are disrespectfully LATE...and a bitch. Anyway, the up side of the story is I decided to go to Starbucks because I deserved some caffeine and screw it! I was late anyway. I ordered my drink and pulled up to the window. The girl says they accidentally made a Grande instead of a Venti so I can have the Grande for free! I got a Venti-Grande drink! YEA! A door closes...a window opens that has alotta of lattes in it! YEA!

Whew! What a tirade! Onward brave readers!!

My brother is coming into town on Saturday. I haven't seen him since Amanda & I went to Florida like 3 or 4 years ago. I've decided that all of my father's children are mental. It has to be my dad's fault because I'm my mother's only child. I have 3 siblings and all of them are mental in their own special way. It certainly can't be my mom's fault. Anyway, he's staying half the time at Mandalay Bay and half the time at my house. What sucks is that I have to work. What also sucks, and he doesn't know this yet, is that on Thursday he needs to meet the slab people so they can rip out my counters to make a template. I've already exhausted enough time off from work this week. But, hey, that's what family is for, isn't it? haha So, umm....if you're reading this, Jes, my brother from another mother, plan on hanging at my house from 3-5p on Thursday. Don't let the illegals steal any of my crap!

I joined the gym 2 weeks ago, got a trainer and have been going 3x per week. Whatever, I don't like it and I'm not seeing any results but I'm giving it 6 months. That was my original goal. I think I'm a pretty tough chick so I took a Pilates class last night. Psh...Pilates...cake walk! Mind, body and all that new age crap. I'm the product of two hippies! Bring it! Here's one sad part of the story.....I can barely move today! My arms, stomach and legs are killing me.

Here's the other sad part of the story....the class was only 30 minutes. After the class, I spent 15 minutes on the elliptical. Not only am I nuts, I'm a wuss. I am an out of shape, weak, hot mess. Good thing I'm going to the gym.

I think I decided which landscaper I want. I still have one more that needs to come and look at my yard so I'm keeping an open mind. The guy I liked looked like a Baldwin brother. He was probably in his late 40's and had an English accent. Yea, who cares if he sucks at landscaping, he'll be fun to watch! Or...wait...will the illegals be doing the work? Hmmm, like Channel 3 News, I'll dig deeper. Anyway, he was actually sketching some ideas while he was in my kitchen. A nice little courtyard with a fire pit and a charming place to sit in the back yard that had grapes! I'm so excited! I can't wait to see the plans.

Honestly, I think I bit off more than I can chew. I've been stressed for 2 weeks and I have about 2 more months of stress, to be sure. I should have done one project at a time, but that's me! Diving in the deep end without a second thought all because of the thrill. Then bitching and complaining because the water is to cold. Grrr. Let me reiterate...I'm mental.

Oh, and why does every woman like that song by Hinder, Lips of an Angel? I have to admit, I like it too but can we accept what the song is based on? Women are singing this tune at the top of their lungs with such passion. Hello? The song is about a man who is in a relationship yet talking to another woman. Now come on, ladies...if you were the woman who didn't know her lover was chatting on the phone with another woman....you'd be pissed off! So, this is one lucky guy then. In the real world, there would be a couple of women ready to kick him in the groin instead of singing a ballad about him. What a hoot.

Tonight, I'm going home to relax and watch my Tivo'd Trump. He's in LA finding a new Apprentice. How exciting.

Last, but not least, a little something I received from Bill's dad. Enjoy!


#10 Life is sexually transmitted.
#9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
#8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without anerection, make him a sandwich.
#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to usethe Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
#6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but youstill can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitaldying of nothing.
#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention tocriticism.
#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and asubstantial tax cut saves you thirty cents???
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.


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