July 2, 2009

Jury Duty Enlightenment

Written June 9, 2009


Jury Duty is an experience. It’s also fun to say duty, isn’t it? Duty. Say it again. I know you want to...go ahead. :) So, I got a call for duty..heehee..notice a few weeks ago & had to appear last Monday. Excellent. Bring it. I got to attend a freak parade instead of going to work. Whoa…wait…aren’t they similar? Bahaha! Anyway. I walked away from the courthouse at 5:00pm with so many observations under my belt that I could barely make it to my car. It was a people watching plethora. Like a day at the mall...but better. Let me share in no particular order.

I already told you in the last blog that one of the jurors was named Mike Wazowski. Yes, I still find this hysterical. Thank goodness because the idea of these jurors scared the crap out of me. A jury of my peers? Holy hell, I hope not. I would NEVER commit a crime after my day at the courthouse. As a matter of fact, I think every teenager should have to sit through the jury process. That alone would scare them enough to stay out of trouble.

There were 13 potential jurors sitting in their area and the rest of us were sitting in the audience. We were told the basics of the case. Domestic abuse. Husband allegedly stabbed wife in the hand with a knife. The judge, who was a hoot, asked the typical questions. Are you married? Do you have children? What do you do? Have you ever been convicted of a crime? Have you ever been a victim or witnessed domestic violence? Bob Loblaw.

Jury Duty immediately went from Judge Judy to Dr. Phil. Why you would unnecessarily air your dirty laundry to a room full of strangers is beyond me. But first, there was a man who raised his hand and said he was mentally disabled. He raised his hand on 4 separate occassions. Each time he said he didn’t feel like he could make the right choice. Brilliant. Can we permanently take him off the list of people to call, please? Mmmkay. Thanks.

Then the attorneys had to make sure all the jurors realized that this was real life, not TV. This was not like Boston Legal or Law & Order. This was reeeeaaallllll..NOT TV. This had to be reiterated approximately 42 times. Really? Wow...cause I was expecting Ally McBeal to walk right in with her skinny self and start in with her zany antics.

Next there was a woman who said her husband was a convicted child molester. She then said the system sucks because they weren’t allowed to present all of their evidence. She said her husband didn’t molest his daughter but he was found guilty anyway. This woman is an RN at Summerlin hospital. Guess where I won’t be going. Ever.

Then there was the guy who felt it necessary to tell the story about how his wife was raped before he met her. Even to this day she flinches and grabs his hand tighter when a strange man walks by. It’s hard to get close to her and have sex because she is still upset. There was no reason for him to share this story. None. Collectively they should be sharing this story in a professional setting that involves counselors…not jurors. Cripes. Later I see the two of them walking down the sidewalk. Immediately his story flashes in my mind and I feel like I am invading her life. I didn’t need to know that information!!! Now it’s in there taking up valuable space!! If I were her, I’d kick his ass because he shouldn’t have been sharing information that wasn’t his. Egads, man.

There also was the ancient man who said his father abused animals and he didn’t mind serving because he had nothing better to do. He was chosen. The woman who was arrested and tried for domestic violence against her husband…to whom she is still married. She was chosen. A guy who would completely forget what he was going to say when he got the microphone. He wasn’t chosen. A Mormon & a teacher…they weren’t chosen. A woman who said that she thinks the defendant is guilty and doesn’t need to hear the case. She wasn’t chosen, btw. She was interesting though. The attorneys & judge worded the same question 20 different ways just to get the same result from her.

Him: ‘You think he is guilty without hearing the case?’
Her: ‘Yes.’
Him: ‘Without seeing any evidence proving otherwise, you still think he’s guilty?’
Her: ‘Yes.’
Him: ‘Even though he hasn’t been convicted and is still innocent, you still think he’s guilty?’
Her: ‘Yes.’
Him: ‘People are innocent until proven guilty yet you still think he is guilty?’
Her: ‘Yes.’

EFF!!! Kick her out already!! I guess this is what you say when you don’t want to sit on a jury. Psh.

There were 4 people left in front of me when the final 13 were chosen and the clock struck 5pm. I looked over the 13 jurors and actually felt sorry for the defendant. He is screwed. Guilty or not.

I was checked out and told I wouldn’t be called again for 18 months. Well, one can only hope. I have completed my civic duty…heehee,,YES!! It's still funny. The long, drawn out, lengthy process of choosing jurors can definitely be sped up by using some logic and organization. I was going insane. It was chaos from beginning to end. Oh, and you do not get paid until your 2nd day on the jury. Psh. Nevertheless, it was super entertaining. I wanted to giggle the entire time.


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*Peace.

1 comment:

  1. Rec'd June 9, 2009 from Jessica:

    I have DUTY on the 22nd. I will let you know what kind of peeps we have here in Texas.

    ReplyDelete