July 2, 2009

Ho Code

Written April 1, 2009

Saturday was the first gathering of the Gambler’s Club. The Gamblers Club originally started out with Shesh, Smurfy & myself. The gist of the Club was for each of us to put in $21 and win Megabucks. Hey…we deserve it….shut up. Anyway, Smurf had other plans on Saturday night so we inducted 2 other members into the Club….Peck and English. I slowly saw my winnings diminishing, but I’m not selfish. Haha! English was the only boy but it was his birthday so he deserved it. Plus, he was super fun.

This is me trying to hit Megabucks with my feet. It didn't work. *sigh*


While we were at dinner we were discussing our relative sexes and one of the things that was mentioned was the ‘Bro Code’. (Thank you, Barney Stinson) Bro’s before ho’s. This is a good thing, I think. A humorous thing, at least, and I wondered why women don’t have a code.

I think we need a ‘Ho Code’. I definitely think there are rules that we silently agree to and aren’t as vocal with. Well, let’s be vocal now. Let’s create a set a rules and guidelines to live by for women only. Here's what I have started with Elisa's help. Please send me additions. :)

Welcome to the Ho Code!

First rule should be ‘Ho’s before bro’s’ because, that’s the #1 rule of the Bro Code. If a bro bails on you, who do you have? That’s right…your ho’s.

Never be the next ho that your ho’s ex dates. Make sense? It’s douchey and other ho’s will talk smack about you…always. Also, you’ll more than likely have your friendship revoked with said ho.

Never let a ho walk out of the house looking like this:


  • Always tell a ho when they have lipstick on their teeth.
  • Always tell a ho when they have a bat in the cave.
  • A ho can never be a member of the Food Police. If a ho wants to drink the whole bottle of wine and eat the entire piece of cheesecake, don’t be all snarky about it.
    A ho cannot be an enabler or saboteur. This is in conjunction with the Food Police. Let a ho eat what she wants without commenting but don’t bring over a dozen donuts.

Here is a listing of the ‘Bro Code’ rules for anyone interested: Golden Rules

For the record, anyone NOT watching How I Met Your Mother should. Then, if you are a bro, you should purchase Barney’s book here: Bro Code

You can also read Barney’s Blog here: Barney's Blogs

Major shout outs for Barney. I heart him.

Keeping on track…who has ever bargained for BJ’s? Ladies….gentlemen….who has uttered these words: “If you take me to the movies, I’ll give you a BJ?” I’m wondering if this is a normal procedure. If so, why isn’t there a reality or game show called ‘Bargaining for BJ’S!’ That’d be hysterical! Oh, wait…did I just break a ho code by talking about this? Damn. Psh to me.

Oh, and for the record, I seriously think Home Depot is not meant for anyone with a vag. AND screw them for declining my affiliate application. Cut! With a tool I buy from Lowe's. Ha.

Have a good weekend!



  1. Rec'd April 7, 2009 from Randi:

    I just read your "Ho Code" blog. The second bullet "Never be the next ho that your ho’s ex dates. Make sense? It’s douchey and other ho’s will talk smack about you…always. Also, you’ll more than likely have your friendship revoked with said ho." This is definitely an unspoken rule. I had a friend dumb enough to try to do this to me, luckily the guy I had broken up with and I remained friends and he had respect for me and told her to eff off. He and several other people told me about it, yes, she propositioned him in front of other people because she's slutty like that and I dropped her like a hot potato. She had the nerve to ask why. I was like "bitch, please!". Some people have no respect for themselves or others. I love your "Ho Code" and I love your blogs!

  2. Rec'd April 1, 2009 from Laurie:

    WOW! you have so much to say and word it so well!

  3. Rec'd April 1, 2009 from Kelly C.:

    Great blogs, Kelly! Getting a glimpse into your mind and your thought processes is ALWAYS an adventure and experience!! One thing is for sure...you tell everything EXACTLY as you see it!! Keep writing them and we'll keep reading them!