July 2, 2009

Friday’s BS Blog

January 12, 2007

I live in the desert. My New York family and friends will be cursing me as they read this but.....IT'S FRIGGIN COLD HERE! It's 37 but feels like 27 and there is a snow advisory in effect! Yea, yea, yea NY...I get it that you live in 0 degree weather but I don't! After living in the desert for 15 years, your blood thins.

120 degrees is hot! At 120 you pretty much want to live in the pool. 80 degrees is nice but you're thinking about changing into a long sleeve shirt. 50 degrees is cold. I'm sorry but that's as low as it should go! 37 is completely unacceptable. If I want snow, I can drive 45 minutes to the snow park and have at it. I can then turn around and come back to normalcy. 37 with a snow warning is not normalcy. What the hell happened to global warming?!

Why is it that a cat has to lay on your clothes? The entire bed could be empty, with the exception of one little corner where you lay your black shirt. Doesn't matter to Mr. Feline, he unabashedly lays his fat cat ass on your shirt. Every single time.

So, I found Prince. The other day when I was lost looking for the granite place, I found him. His symbol was slapped on the side of the Rio. I can only assume that this is where he is. Don't quote me on it. But if you've lost Prince, I think he's at the Rio. I also found David Hasselhoff. He's starring in The Producers, which is at Paris Las Vegas. So, if you've lost David Hasselhoff, don't fret, he's here too. Finding these two people made me realize that I really need to look around more when I'm driving. I'm apparently missing a lot! I betcha I could find Elvis.

Amanda & I took a class at the gym last night called "Cowboy Boogie". This taught me three things. One - I am very uncoordinated. Two - I cannot dance. Three - New Yorkers do not make good cowboys. After flailing my way through 30 minutes of hyper line dancing, looking like a complete fool, I had the misfortune of being hit on by an old guy! Like, as old as my mother! He asked me to come to Amp'd Abs tonight. Hello? It's Friday night! I may be single but I have plans! Holy cow. A gym stalker.

Speaking of single, I hate Valentine's Day. This is one of those holidays that I really don't look forward to. It's right down there with July 4th. I don't know why I need another reason to feel bad about myself for being single. This year, however, is going to be different! My friends are having a White Trash Love Party! I'm so excited because it sounds way fun! Yea! (Sorry, Amanda. You're not old enough. You are invited to the Grey's Goose Anatomy Party and the Wine Party so shush!)

This weekend I'll be hanging with my brother from another mother! Have a great weekend, everyone! Enjoy!


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