March 22, 2007
Find it amazing that songs can evoke such powerful memories & emotion. I was listening to my ipod when a Billy Squier tune came on. Suddenly I was whisked back to 1981/82 to a time when I had no worries and everything was happy. I was happy. I was 14…HOLY SHIT! I was doing some wild crap at 14!!! Don't even think about it, Amanda! Anyway, then the emotion reared its ugly head when whoosh! I was catapulted to memories of Alan thanks to Rascal Flatts. I think it's cool how I'm debating on taking Ginkgo because I can't remember anything yet put on a song and I'm reliving every moment of my past.
So, I was up in the gym just working on my fitness (heehaw) when I started thinking about my week. This past week has been interesting. I found out that the boy I had a crush on has a girlfriend. Wow…way to make me feel like a dick. Now I feel completely awkward. Great, gee…thanks. That would have been nice to know earlier…like..umm…December! I could have prevented myself from saying anything lame. But hey, not everyone is like me. People know where I come from immediately. I'm an honest & open person. From point A to point Z, you know. Oh well. Que sera sera. I'll find my lid someday.
My friend Mel was talking to me about Amanda and how she thought that Amanda should be a model. Amanda & I have discussed this on & off for several years. She even auditioned for a commercial. She was totally cute but didn't get the part. Stupid Ted Airlines! I started modeling in high school and even was in a beauty pageant. I came in 3rd for Miss Teen New York. :::applause::: I'm here to tell you that it can be a sheisty world if you're not careful. You need a pretty thick coat to be able to handle the rejection. I wasn't sure I wanted Amanda to deal with that. Anyway, a friend from MGM MIRAGE Advertising referred me to this modeling agency a million years ago. I finally contacted them and sent some random photos of Amanda. Needless to say, Amanda has an interview on Thursday at 4p. OH GOD! What have I done?!?! Haha Now I'm nervous!!
I drove to work in a daze again. I completely spaced out for 28 miles. It was one of those crazy spacers where one completely random thing leads you to another completely random thought and so on and so on. I honestly don't know what the starter thought was. I think I was thinking about the upcoming Aerosmith concert and that I hoped George won tickets. After all, she is trying and she has won them before! (Thanks, George! xo) From there I don't know where the hell I went but you know what? It was nice! I wasn't driving to work thinking about driving off the Spaghetti Bowl or continue driving until I hit Arizona just so I could avoid work! You know, I've been taking my lunch in my car....so I can sleep. I set my cell alarm and doze for 30 minutes. Is that wrong?
I'm so excited for the weekend because I am doing NOTHING! Absolutely nothing. Amanda & I are going to have some quality time together, just her & I. We have been running like wild women for months. This weekend we are sleeping late, planting flowers and whatever else she wants to do. Probably watch The Holiday because we bought it. This movie made me cry (right, Judy!) so it will probably make me cry again. Why? Because I'm a big baby cry, that's why. I heard it's healthy to cry every once in a while. It rids the body of toxins…reduces stress. I need all of this. Ooooh, a short list of what I need:
To cry.A massage.Sex. Mind shattering sex.And this lamp. That's all I need.
Visual "The Jerk" and laugh and laugh….
**A little addition.
So, I went and took my afternoon nap, came back into the office, polished off the rest of my Flaming Hot Cheetos and admired my red fingertips for a minute. I then decided that I deserved a Starbucks. After all, I am wonderfully fabulous and that warrants a latte. I invited the burper to go along. We are chatting about the gym, we order our drinks and continue chatting while I pull up. The cutest little boyrista with flirty eyes & nice smile hands me my drink. I, being a major dork, am so flustered that I spill my drink on the outside of my car, the inside of my car and my lap. OMG! Are you fucking kidding me? Haha! I have to laugh because I'm in my late 30's and I get all nervous around a 20-something boyrista. It's no wonder I'm single.