June 30, 2009

Full Stop

July 26, 2006

I can always tell when I’m about to get my period. I get crazy emotional over the oddest things. I was watching the news this morning and there was a story about a homeless man in Detroit who was looking through the trash and found approximately $25,000 in bonds. This guy RETURNED them to whomever. He said ‘Honesty is the best policy.’ Then the bond owner gave the guy $100. Psh. Well, after everyone in Detroit heard about this story, they didn’t think $100 was enough. They sent him money, job offers, etc. He was on TV crying…it was so sweet….he was saying he had about $5,000 and he was going to get an apartment! Awww! Of course, I’m sitting on my bed crying with him. Jaysus! Stupid female hormones! Then I started to think…if I went to the dumpster and found money…would I return it?

I hate some people. Literally hate them. There is this jack off that has control of my work website. I can update information but he has access to the navigation, etc. I asked him to add a couple links and new pages. He replied that it will cost about $750 to do so. So…jokingly, but sort of seriously, I said ‘WOW! I definitely chose the wrong career path!’ This guy gets totally nasty and says his company provides good customer service and he has an entire staff that works on projects like mine. If I am upset with the pricing structure that I should go seek out other vendors. My God, Buddy! Chill! Ok, he obviously doesn’t want to be friends, so great. Guess what I’m doing? Getting quotes from other vendors! Friggin bass turd. Oh and PS- your customer service SUCKS!!!!

I just logged on to MyHeritage.com to find out what celebrities Amanda & I look like. Before I started, I asked Amanda who I looked like. She said Meg Ryan. I told her she looked like Cameron Diaz. You could basically choose any blonde and we’d be a close match. Anyway, this site lets you update photos and then gives you matching celebrities. I uploaded a photo of us in Hawaii…AND….the results are in! Amanda: Jamie Lynn Spears, Kirsten Dunst, Lindsey Lohan, Grace Kelly. Kelly: Jamie Lynn Spears, Julia Roberts, Julianne Moore, Live Tyler. What a bunch of crap! But…wait….Steven could be my daddy! WOW!! Woot! Woot! Oh…wait again…EWWW!!!

On the drive into work today, I was taking a lovely sip of coffee when I hit a bump in the road. Damn Vegas roads! Coffee spilled down the front of my off-white shirt. UGH! I am a hot mess! I swear, I am such a dork.

Tomorrow is going to suck for me. I have to go to the dentist which is always a crappy time. Then I have to go see the Principal of the fat farm. We need to talk about why my diet isn’t working. She’ll more than likely revise what I’m currently eating, which is hardly anything and nothing good. I’ll probably end up only able to consume water….and paper. That’s it. Water and paper. I can’t wipe anything else out…I’ll die if I do. I also go to the doctor on Monday. I’m going to ask him why I’ve been dieting for 2 ½ months and have only lost 3 pounds. Apparently, I am broken.

I love peanut butter. Specifically, Peter Pan Creamy Peanut Butter. He makes me very happy right now. I want to marry Peter Pan.


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