June 30, 2009

Décor War

September 14, 2007

I am convinced that everyone has a crazy neighbor. Nuts. Certifiable. Ridiculous. I am so very lucky to have several. I know I have blogged about a few in the past but I'm not talking about the Child Molester that lives in my community. *We saw him the other day outside smoking…..EW! I'm also not talking about the mother who allowed her children to be beaten by her boyfriend in the middle of the road. *Also saw her last week…..EW! No. Not those fuckers. I'm talking about the religious sect. Yep, I live in a cult de sac. My one neighbor is ALWAYS trying to save me and my daughter. (I guess our dancing naked at midnight under the full moon doesn't help.) This gem's classic parting line to me has always been 'I'm praying for a husband for you!' My reply has always been 'Pray I hit Megabuck's instead!' Jerk. The reason for this story is because at this time of year I get some sort of passive aggressive revenge. They always put their Christmas decorations up before Thanksgiving which is totally against the rules. So, I will be decorating my house this weekend with the girls. Full Halloween adornment! The girls & I are also going shopping to buy more gruesome stuff now that my new landscape is in! I'll get a kick out of having my house encompassed by spider webs, witches, skeletons, ghouls, bats, etc. for a month and a half. I know they will shudder in their sanctimonious souls when they go past. Heehee! I may even leave it up longer. HA! Wait…hold on a tick….am I the crazy neighbor?!?! Ok, ok…who has a crazy neighbor?

I'm having serious cat issues. I think Oreo is dying and I can't afford to take him to the vet right now. I know I will probably break down and spend the money this weekend because I just can't take it. He has lost tons of weight. I didn't even notice just all of the sudden he's not fat. I realized this last weekend when Bill & George were over. So, I paid attention this week. He is barely eating and he's lethargic. He isn't in pain though because whenever I talk to him or pet him, he purrs. I swear he has diabetes, in which case, I will have to put him to sleep. That will break my heart. Then Shadow comes in the other night limping with chunks of skin & fur hanging down from his face! He obviously got into a fight and I'm thinking he lost! Ugh...cats. Sheesh! Not Shesh...HI SHESH! Sheesh.

My coffee pot broke Wednesday night. I was setting up for my morning coffee and I realized it was jacked up. I looked all over for an old coffee pot and found one in my garage. It was so dusty and gross that even my addiction couldn't make me drink from it. So, both of them went in the garbage. Needless to say, Thursday morning sucked. I don't know if I am addicted or if it was just a break in my habit but GOD! It totally threw off my groove. I could not get out of the house fast enough. We hit Starbuck's before I dropped Amanda off at the school bus. I am now the proud owner new red coffee pot. Mmmmm….coffee.

How can traffic be stopped on the freeway when there isn't an accident or breakdown? It's another one of life's little mysteries. You know, like the Land of the Missing Socks or UFO's. I was stuck in traffic. Literally stuck. Stopped. This isn't really a surprise at 7:30am on the Rainbow Curve. After what seemed an eternity, traffic picked up it's pace and I begin moving forward. I start looking for carnage, blood, destroyed pieces of metal…broken glass even…there was nothing. Nothing! There isn't an exit so the backup couldn't have been because of that. What were these freaking idiots doing? Why were they stopped? What the hell happened? Ahhhhhh!!!

I was watching Amanda write last night and she does some weird things. For example, when writing an exclamation point, she puts the dot first and then draws the line upwards! I write it the opposite way. I draw the line downward and then dot it. She said that my way was weird. She wrote the entire alphabet and about 3 letters were different than how I write them. B, K, and T are what I can remember. So, which is which? How do you draw your exclamations?

While you are pondering that deep thought, enjoy your Friday


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