June 30, 2009

Cheeky

June 29, 2007

I got my social security statement in the mail yesterday and I'm thinking….I'm not a big fan of that piece of mail. Does anyone actually look at this? It's like taking a stroll through my past career decisions and my future financial outlook. I love to see how much I made 1986. I also love that I left my old job to take this gem and earn LESS! The coup de grace is that if I work to the ripe old age of 70, I'll barely get enough to survive! Woot! Woot! Ah…..that's nice… Diabetes will cut approximately 8 years off my life. But if…IF I make it to the ripe old age of 70…..I won't be able to pay my mortgage….yay….

Have you ever bitten the inside of your mouth? Jaysus, that sucks. I haven't even been drinking since I got home from vacay and I've bit both sides of my mouth. Did I forget how to eat? Has jetlag stripped me of chewing properly? Have my teeth gone on strike? Then, as if biting your cheek isn't bad enough, you keep doing it! Once you've committed the first mouth error, you continue to chomp on the offended spot for days! UGH! Stupid mouth.

I think I'm rich. I do. I just spent so much money on my Mediterranean jaunt and now I'm going to Disneyland. Who in the hell do I think I am? A friggin Rockefeller?? I don't even make that much money! According to my SS statement, I make less now than I did a year ago!! I honestly don't know how I'm doing it, I really don't. But, what the hell, you can't take it with you, right?! Anyway, there's a bunch of us that are going to Disneyland in August. It's Amanda's 13th birthday. Oh joy! It's Kaelie's 13th birthday, too. Thirteen is a pretty big deal, I think. In fact, I think it's bigger than 16. You are no longer a child, you are a teen. Dum dum duuuuummmmmmm. Before responsibility and accountability kick the shit out of my girl, I'll let her be a child with our closest friends! FUN! I can't wait! I'm trying to remember what was important to me at 13, which could be another blog.

Anyone watch that new reality show 'Age of Love'? It's so frigging retarded and yet I tuned in to watch it the other night. I'm equally disgusted and intrigued. A 30 year old man is set up to date a gang of 40 year old women and a gang of 20 year old women to see who wins. ::ding ding ding:: 'In this corner, 40 year olds whose eggs are drying up, becoming slightly pathetic and have wrinkles!' 'In this corner, 20 year olds who have no idea how to have an intelligent conversation, have no direction and implants!' Age is just a number on one hand. Age is an important number on the other hand. I can't see myself dating anyone younger than…36 or older than….42, I guess. Do you have age limits? Those of you who are dating?

My least favorite holiday is almost here. I do not like the 4th of July. I don't have a solid reason why, I just don't. Amanda is usually at her dad's. B&G are always out of town. I can't go to my dad's lake house, BBQ and watch fireworks like I used to. I have to clean my yard of debris the weekend after and I have to worry about my house catching on fire. I usually stay at home feeling very anti-American and wanting to sleep. The only good thing is it's a paid holiday. So…Happy Independence Day, America. Rock on.

Wow…what a negative blog. 4 negs, 1 pos. Ouch.

*Peace.

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